Drug use/drug testing in the CF (merged)

[Jarnhamar]

Hello everyone,
I have a family member who started BMQ a couple months ago, and while she was home over the Christmas break our family noted some drastic changes in her behaviour since leaving for St. Jean. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive, and I knew she would change somewhat when joining the forces, but these changes seemed extreme. Basically I'm just looking for advice on how to handle it (if at all possible) or just reassurance that this is normal.

Before leaving she was in a long-term relationship. At least four years. While at BMQ she decided they were going to break up and proceeded to sleep with a fellow recruit before actually breaking up with him. As soon as she came home they did break up, however.

Our family immediately noted she was exceptionally rude and mean. Bragged about being military but more in a way of saying, "I'm better than you are" and looked down on all of us.

We also learned she didn't miss home or her family at all while she was away and couldn't wait to get back home to her "boys".

During her Christmas break she took to Tinder to hook up with as many guys as possible as well as resorting to cocaine use. Also managed to drink herself so stupid that she wound up in hospital requiring stitches and claims to have no memory of how or why.

Now that she's back at CFLRS she's obviously very happy and has already been sleeping with a fellow recruit.

I'm not just speculating about all of this because she has come right out and bragged about all of this, right down to being a self-proclaimed SL--T like its something to be proud of.

Now I'm sure there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop her self-destructive behaviour but none of this seems normal for a person who was once extremely family-oriented and had a good head on her shoulders. Can BMQ really change a person that much?

Hey maybe I'm wrong. I apologize if I'm coming across as insensitive.

I just noticed that you seemed more concerned with her sexual behavior than cocaine use.  You referenced sex twice before even mentioning cocaine.  To me shoving cocaine up your nose seems a bit more significant than cheating on a BF. I'd probably list cocaine use as my 1st concern and not the 7th.

or just reassurance that this is normal.

Do you really need to ask if taking cocaine is normal? 

No it's not.

If I was the ex, I would've gone out of my way to ruin her military career by now.

That's an interesting thing to say.

Now that she's back at CFLRS she's obviously very happy and has already been sleeping with a fellow recruit.

That seems like a weird thing for a family member to care about, or even know about..

Good luck.

 

[quadrapiper]

Hey maybe I'm wrong. I apologize if I'm coming across as insensitive.

I just noticed that you seemed more concerned with her sexual behavior than cocaine use.  You referenced sex twice before even mentioning cocaine.  To me shoving cocaine up your nose seems a bit more significant than cheating on a BF. I'd probably list cocaine use as my 1st concern and not the 7th.
Do you really need to ask if taking cocaine is normal? 

No it's not.

That's an interesting thing to say.

Good luck helping your family member.

The (alleged) cocaine use is very worrisome.

The rest... "young troop drinks way too much, shags all interested parties, gets cocky, develops close bonds with fellow trainees" is not exactly unheard of. Phase 2 involves purchasing a (too powerful) motorcycle and getting regrettable tattoos.

 

[mariomike]

if I do hear her bragging about the drug use again I have the contacts you have kindly provided.

This may help,

Drug use/drug testing in the CF (merged)
http://army.ca/forums/threads/16153.650
27 pages.

DAOD 5019-3, Canadian Forces Drug Control Program
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/about-policies-standards-defence-admin-orders-directives-5000/5019-3.page

Alcohol
Enabling in the Canadian Armed Forces
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/caf-community-health-services-wellness-addiction/alcohol-use.page

CAF
Other Drugs - Drug Use in the Military
http://www.forces.gc.ca/en/caf-community-health-services-wellness-addiction/other-drug-use.page

 

[DAA]

Hello everyone,
I have a family member who started BMQ a couple months ago, and while she was home over the Christmas break our family noted some drastic changes in her behaviour since leaving for St. Jean. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive, and I knew she would change somewhat when joining the forces, but these changes seemed extreme. Basically I'm just looking for advice on how to handle it (if at all possible) or just reassurance that this is normal.

Can BMQ really change a person that much?

Your post should have STOPPED at what I quoted above and gone no further.

I want to make it clear that I am not asking about this because I wish to destroy my family members' career, so I am glad to hear that there are options available that will help her should it come down to that.

I know it's easy to assume the worst of a person but I really do have good intentions.
If I was the ex, I would've gone out of my way to ruin her military career by now.
If there was a better place for me to ask for help or resources besides here please let me know.

By going even further, you're not accomplishing much here, which makes me wonder about the yellow above.  If it is as you say it is, let it be, the problem will sort itself out.  BMQ has a tendancy to do that.  If it doesn't, the problem will quickly land right back in your hands.

 

[runormal]

If I was the ex, I would've gone out of my way to ruin her military career by now.

Why? Why do you say this? When I broke up with my Ex the last thing I wanted to do was talk to her... much less tell her anything that was happening regarding girls/partying. If someone has changed/moved on they have moved on. How does the ex even know all of this?

Hello everyone,
I have a family member who started BMQ a couple months ago, and while she was home over the Christmas break our family noted some drastic changes in her behaviour since leaving for St. Jean. Perhaps I'm being too sensitive, and I knew she would change somewhat when joining the forces, but these changes seemed extreme. Basically I'm just looking for advice on how to handle it (if at all possible) or just reassurance that this is normal.

Before leaving she was in a long-term relationship. At least four years. While at BMQ she decided they were going to break up and proceeded to sleep with a fellow recruit before actually breaking up with him. As soon as she came home they did break up, however.

Our family immediately noted she was exceptionally rude and mean. Bragged about being military but more in a way of saying, "I'm better than you are" and looked down on all of us.

We also learned she didn't miss home or her family at all while she was away and couldn't wait to get back home to her "boys".

During her Christmas break she took to Tinder to hook up with as many guys as possible as well as resorting to cocaine use. Also managed to drink herself so stupid that she wound up in hospital requiring stitches and claims to have no memory of how or why.

Now that she's back at CFLRS she's obviously very happy and has already been sleeping with a fellow recruit.

I'm not just speculating about all of this because she has come right out and bragged about all of this, right down to being a self-proclaimed SL--T like its something to be proud of.

Now I'm sure there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop her self-destructive behaviour but none of this seems normal for a person who was once extremely family-oriented and had a good head on her shoulders. Can BMQ really change a person that much?

Re-reading the original post, why do you reference the person question as "she" instead of my daughter, my sister, my cousin, my whatever; everything seems too generic to be real. Not once do you reveal your relation to the "person in question". When say "Our Family" that sounds like a mom post, but then you never say anything about a daughter... You also have a fairly deep insight into the sexual life of a person in question which I find a tad strange for a parent of a girl. Like others have said this is a very strongly worded post for a person who wants to give someone the "benefit of a doubt".

As per heavy partying on leave/break. Whenever I'm home for Christmas I'm at home for like 15% of the time I get to go home once or twice a year as much as I love/miss my family I also miss my old high school friends and I only get to see them at Christmas as most people have moved away from the area. I try to make the most of my time with both my friends/family but usually I'm never home. I also typically can't wait to get back to my friends/school/work whenever I go home. Other than drinking heavily there isn't a whole lot do where I am from. I really don't miss my home and talk bi-weekly with my mom and fairly often with my family members through FaceBook,E-Mail, Text.

If this is true going away from home for the first time away from home can really change someone (I'm speaking of more of University/College insight). Other than the cocaine use this doesn't all the different from some girls/guys I went to High school went. Lots of people cheat on their girlfriend/boyfriend during school and then break up with them when they come home for the first time. Usually this happens during Thanksgiving, Hell some bars/clubs even have a "Turkey Dump" party the week following thanksgiving...

And as for being aggressive/rude it does usually take some time do get-out of "Course Mode" especially for a course like Basic or BMQ-L/SQ

 

[Kat Stevens]

She- pronoun, singular nominative she, possessive her or hers, objective her; plural nominative they, possessive their or theirs, objective them.
    1.the female person or animal being discussed or last mentioned; that female.

Looks like a pretty reasonable pronoun to use when describing a female bipedal humanoid.  Why does everyone have their detective hat on over this?  At the end of the day, someone is expressing some concern over self destructive behavior.  I stick by my assertion that this is nothing more than "Girls Gone Wild; The BMQ Years".  Someone has slipped the chain and gone mental. It happens.  The coke is a problem.

 

[runormal]

She- pronoun, singular nominative she, possessive her or hers, objective her; plural nominative they, possessive their or theirs, objective them.
    1.the female person or animal being discussed or last mentioned; that female.

Looks like a pretty reasonable pronoun to use when describing a female bipedal humanoid.  Why does everyone have their detective hat on over this?  At the end of the day, someone is expressing some concern over self destructive behavior.  I stick by my assertion that this is nothing more than "Girls Gone Wild; The BMQ Years".  Someone has slipped the chain and gone mental. It happens.  The coke is a problem.

It definitely isn't incorrect, I just found it odd. Might be just me but I personally at some point would of said at one point, my sister/my daughter.

I also agree that coke is a major problem but I'm just surpised that sex was mentioned twice before coke and numerous times after. Personally as a family member I'd be more worried about hard drug use over cheating on a boyfriend and sleeping around.

 

[JSoff]

Honestly reading this post I could care less about "the family member being promiscuous", the thing that really caught my eye is the usage of cocaine. This person obviously is on a self destructive path, and honestly a call to the MP's should be made. Even after BMQ the usage of the drug is still probably going to happen, just because you don't want to ruin this persons career, doesn't mean you shouldn't call the MP's. Your family member is going to be found out eventually anyways, by not telling anyone you could potentially be putting other recruits at risk, or other members of the military that your family member could be posted with.

Do Canada and our military a favor and report it.

 

[Poacher434]

Devils advocate is not a bad approach to take, I didn't even consider the character assassination till it was mentioned but it is definately a possibility. Though we still hold the implied responsibility to do what we can for direction, and I think the most we can do is provide contact information for services that are available (legal or otherwise).

Let it all come out in the wash, these things usually do, especially when they are so visible at such an early stage.

At the end of the day it is not a career killer, in this job it could very well be so extreme to say that by reporting it, and possibly having her career killed, you could be saving somebody's life down the road.

Just saying.

 

[OldSolduer]

There are three sides to every story:

Your side

My side


The Truth

 

[Oldgateboatdriver]

Four sides: You forgot the version Hollywood thinks will bring the most bums into theatre seats.

 

[PPCLI Guy]

I stick by my assertion that this is nothing more than "Girls Gone Wild; The BMQ Years".  Someone has slipped the chain and gone mental. It happens. 

Completely concur.  Kids go wild when they escape the bonds - I know I did.  One could argue I turned out okay in the end.

 

[Good2Golf]

Completely concur.  Kids go wild when they escape the bonds - I know I did.  One could argue I turned out okay in the end.

But you chose Harleys, instead of cocaine...  :nod:

 

[PPCLI Guy]

But you chose Harleys, instead of cocaine...  :nod:

Never a Harley.  I refuse to dress up like a gay pirate just to ride to Tim Horton's and hang out with accountant "badboys" polishing their masturbatory chrome.....

Now a he-man dual-sport (ie not a BMW, which has to stop at every Starbucks and never sees gravel, let alone dirt) is another story.

:biker:

 

[Good2Golf]

Never a Harley.  I refuse to dress up like a gay pirate just to ride to Tim Horton's and hang out with accountant "badboys" polishing their masturbatory chrome.....

Now a he-man dual-sport (ie not a BMW, which has to stop at every Starbucks and never sees gravel, let alone dirt) is another story.

:biker:

[still 'slightly' tangential]

The R1200GS Gods will strike you down for that, PG.

[/back to the thread]

 

[Journeyman]

Never a Harley.  I refuse to dress up like a gay pirate just to ride to Tim Horton's and hang out with accountant "badboys" polishing their masturbatory chrome.....

Hello!  I'm right here. 


...and the closest I got to polishing a Harley was trying to scrape melted rain-suit off of an exhaust pipe. I prefer riding.  Bi-atch.

:chopper:

 

[Bzzliteyr]

I still get told to watch my mouth when I visit my mother.

The military changes people. Depending on the age of the person thre might be many "oh look, new things!".

Coke, drug use? Not a good thing. Whether or not they are in a uniform you need to start getting them help. Think about the fact that during this course she will be handling weapons, coke plus weapons is a bad mix and it needs to stop before that.

 

[tomgoetz]

BMQ is a rough time for some people, I had the unfortunate experience of being in the garrison when a young recruit (week 3 or 4), jumped or fell from the 8th floor landing on the roof of the 3rd floor. Luckily the platoon on the 4th floor was able to get to him and preform basic first aid while waiting for emergency personnel from the civvie side and the base. Luckily for him and for all who witnessed the incident he survived

I was there for that, he was my FTP. Glad he survived!

 

[OldCrow937]

I had seen this type of behavior back in 2008 with some members on PAR , blue sector 10th floor pod 6... yep that was home for me and 2 floors above us was the PAR platoon... people who for some reason were in limbo to leave the CF and these folks were real winners...

I recall a group of girls had been drinking can's of colt 45 malt and had purposeful left the remains near our floor on a Friday ( they had come out and admitted it Sat night @ the bistro ) of course our entire platoon got a nice fun day of PT Sat morning from 0545 until we couldn't move... sometime around 1100

Anyways long story short there were a few females ( and males ) on PAR that acted like it was a party zone and they really mistreated CLFRS its sad to see but report that type behavior its disrespectful to the staff and the heritage of that training facility!

 

[AbdullahD]

But you chose Harleys, instead of cocaine...  :nod:

Was that really the better choice?