New Game: Make a wish

[vonGarvin]

OK, new game.
You're basically making a wish and the next poster will corrupt the end result as much as possible for maximum hilarity.
Example:

Poster 1  said:

I wish I could work from home.

Poster 2 said:

Done, but now you have a Blackberry, and it goes off every five minutes with a new emergency that makes the previous one look lame.
I wish i had a life supply of Rockstar Energy Drinks.

Just follow that format and make some wishes. Make sure you quote the one you refer to for easier reading and understanding. Also after you corrupt their wish, you must make your own for someone to corrupt right under.

Have fun!

 

[mariomike]

Probably the same thought that runs through a lot of people's minds as they grow older, "I wish I had made a move on so and so."   

 

[vonGarvin]

"I wish I had made a move on so and so."   

Granted, but now So-and-So has ballooned to 500 pounds, requires constant medical care and is costing you thousands of dollars a year.


I wish that I were a rock star.

 

[mariomike]

I wish that I were a rock star.

You could claim condoms as a tax write off. On the other hand, someone might do a John Lennon on you.

I wish........I wish I could post the one about the Genie and the Three Wishes! hahaha

 

[vonGarvin]

I wish........I wish I could post the one about the Genie and the Three Wishes! hahaha

Granted.  But then you are banned for life from Army.ca for violating the site guidelines.

I wish I weren't surrounded by idiots.

 

[gunnars]

" wish I weren't surrounded by idiots."

Then you would be surrounded by smart people and you would become the idiot.

I wish that push ups were a hell of a lot easier to do.

 

[dapaterson]

I wish that push ups were a hell of a lot easier to do.

Then you'd be posted to CFLRS and teach recruits all the time.


I wish that the CF's admin systems actually worked properly.

 

[PMedMoe]

I wish that the CF's admin systems actually worked properly.

Then everything would run smoothly and you'd have nothing to bitch about. 

I wish my posting was earlier.

 

[vonGarvin]

I wish my posting was earlier.

Wish granted.  Now you're late, charged with being AWOL, convicted, and sent to Edmonton for two years less a day.

I wish I were taller.

 

[dapaterson]

I wish I were taller.

Then you burst out of your clothes, get arrested for public nudity (again) and get locked up for 7-10 years in a dank hole with an even bigger guy named Bubba, who calls you his bitch.



I wish George Lucas had never made Star Wars I through III.

 

[vonGarvin]

I wish George Lucas had never made Star Wars I through III.

Granted.  Michael Jackson bought the rights for the Star Wars franchise, he makes Star Wars I through III, and Ewoks are replaced by male child actors.


I wish I had never been arrested for public nudity.

 

[PPCLI Guy]

I wish I had never been arrested for public nudity.

Granted.  But now you have to wear the "Borat Suit" to every Mess function til the end of time....

I wish that the Montreal Canadiens had not choked.

 

[Luke O]

I wish that the Montreal Canadiens had not choked.

Granted but Montreal would be flooded with beer and there would be mass riots still occuring.

I wish I had faster internet.

 

[vonGarvin]

I wish I had faster internet.

Granted, you now have the fastest internet in the world.  You also have the strictest firewalls, and can only access the cbc website, but are forbidden  from opening any links.

I wish I could have any woman I wanted.

 

[neko]

Granted, you now have the fastest internet in the world.  You also have the strictest firewalls, and can only access the cbc website, but are forbidden  from opening any links.

I wish I could have any woman I wanted.

Granted, but after a few weeks you have seen so many women that you want you have to keep buying bigger and bigger houses to live in and you are now severely in debt.  You are so worn out from so many women that you can no longer please any of them. They have also all become best friends, so you are now hated by them all as you are cheating on each of them with their best friends.  Oh and they all want a divorce now.  Alimony will be a kicker.



I wish I had more money.

 

[TimBit]

I wish I had more money.

Granted but now everyone wants a part of the treasure including the CRA, and since you've spent it all already you are arrested for tax fraud and sent to jail.

I wish I was on vacation right now.

 

[Luke O]

I wish I was on vacation right now.

Granted,  but your dream of a nice sunny vacation has been ruined by ungodly amounts of rain, along with hurricane like winds.


I wish my car was clean.

 

[TimBit]

Granted,  but your dream of a nice sunny vacation has been ruined by ungodly amounts of rain, along with hurricane like winds.


I wish my car was clean.

Granted. But then you would not have the pleasure of cleaning it this weekend  ;D

i wish my tot were sleeping through the night...

 

[The Bread Guy]

i wish my tot were sleeping through the night...

Granted - look at how much energy your tot now has to create mayhem during waking hours!

I wish the office was closed today so I could be at home.

 

[gunnars]

"I wish the office was closed today so I could be at home."

Granted. but when you returned the next day you would have over a 100 voicemails and your email inbox would be jammed.

I wish I had the magic wand that all my clients seem to believe that I have.