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Recruits?

Art Johnson

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From the Dileas Network

Comrades

If you are over 50 now the Armed Forces say you are too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 35 to join the military. They've got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys.

You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can't kill the enemy we'll complain them into submission. "My back hurts!" "I'm hungry!" "Where's the remote control?"

An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and C7 (M-16) would do wonders for the old beer belly.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10:00. Old guys get up early every morning to pee.

If old guys are captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd probably forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.

Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We've also developed a deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better than naps.

They could lighten up on the obstacle course however. I've been in combat and didn't see a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. I can hear the Drill Sergeant now, "Get down and give me...er...one."

And the running part is kind of a waste of energy. I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet.

An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to actually carry on a conversation, and to wear pants without the top of his butt crack showing and his boxer shorts sticking out. He's still hasn't figured out that a pierced tongue catches food particles, and that a 400-watt speaker in the back seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum. All great reasons to keep our sons at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off to possible death.

The last thing the enemy would want to see right now is a couple of million old farts with attitudes.

Dileas
:salute:
 
Excuse me but all recruits are'nt only 18 years old I'm 45 and i'm going through the process, and I'll be there soon! :salute:
 
Art Johnson said:
You shouldn't be able to join until you're at least 35. For starters: Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more that 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.

An 18-year-old doesn't like to get up before 10:00. Old guys get up early every morning to pee.

lol where do u get this article? its kinda ture...(not all) but somehow I agree that older than 35 "may" not be good to track down terrorists. I didn't say all people, but for the average.
 
This doesn't belong in recruiting.

Its an article( a bit tongue in cheek too) written by an american for a newspaper or something I believe.


Its not to be taken serouisly.
 
ok, i don't like the idea of being 35 before you can join.  maybe the 18 year old people like the army, and that is what they want to for the rest of their lives.  i just think people 17 and older should be able to join whenever they want. 
 
lots of good points,but none the less i'm 17 and in the process of joining. So hopefully only a few people think that way. :akimbo:
 
Art Johnson said:
From the Dileas Network


An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and C7 (M-16) would do wonders for the old beer belly.

126000 gallons hmmm, let see if   those old guys would have been drinking for let say 20 years 365.25 days a year that leave us with an impressive 17.2 gallons of beer per DAY... I'm so behind the national average :( ;)
 
but if you are a quebecois, you can join at 32.. We can legally take beers at 18 here ;D
 
ark said:
Art Johnson said:
From the Dileas Network


An 18-year-old hasn't had a legal beer yet and you shouldn't go to war until you're at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, on the other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he's 35 and a jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and C7 (M-16) would do wonders for the old beer belly.

126000 gallons hmmm, let see if   those old guys would have been drinking for let say 20 years 365.25 days a year that leave us with an impressive 17.2 gallons of beer per DAY... I'm so behind the national average :( ;)

Are those American gallons? :)

I wish I had the money to drink my weight in beer every day....Must be nice for those old guys.
 
That article had me splitting my ribs! Haha! Btw, 18 is the legal age in Alberta as well. That means we start drinking when we are 14.
 
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