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THE FIRST (& SECOND) WORLD WAR(S), BAR FIGHT VERSION

Danjanou

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An alternative approach to teaching history…

Are You Looking at My Pint?

Germany, Austria and Italy are stood together in the middle of the pub, when Serbia bumps into Austria, and spills Austria’s pint.

Austria demands Serbia buy it a complete new suit, because there are splashes on its trouser leg.

Germany expresses its support for Austria’s point of view.

Britain recommends that everyone calm down a bit.

Serbia points out that it can’t afford a whole suit, but offers to pay for cleaning Austria’s trousers.

Russia and Serbia look at Austria.

Austria asks Serbia who it’s looking at.

Russia suggests that Austria should leave its little brother alone.

Austria inquires as to whose army will assist Russia in compelling it to do so.

Germany appeals to Britain that France has been looking at it, and that this is sufficiently out of order that Britain should not intervene.

Britain replies that France can look at who it wants to, that Britain is looking at Germany too, and what is Germany going to do about it?

Germany tells Russia to stop looking at Austria, or Germany will render Russia incapable of such action.

Britain and France ask Germany whether it’s looking at Belgium.

Turkey and Germany go off into a corner and whisper. When they come back, Turkey makes a show of not looking at anyone.

Germany rolls up its sleeves, looks at France, and punches Belgium.

France and Britain punch Germany. Austria punches Russia. Germany punches Britain and France with one hand and Russia with the other.

Russia throws a punch at Germany, but misses and nearly falls over. Japan calls over from the other side of the room that it’s on Britain’s side, but stays there. Italy surprises everyone by punching Austria.

Australia punches Turkey, and gets punched back. There are no hard feelings, because Britain made Australia do it.

France gets thrown through a plate glass window, but gets back up and carries on fighting. Russia gets thrown through another one, gets knocked out, suffers brain damage, and wakes up with a complete personality change.

Italy throws a punch at Austria and misses, but Austria falls over anyway. Italy raises both fists in the air and runs round the room chanting.

America waits till Germany is about to fall over from sustained punching from Britain and France, then walks over and smashes it with a barstool, then pretends it won the fight all by itself.

By now all the chairs are broken, and the big mirror over the bar is shattered. Britain, France and America agree that Germany threw the first punch, so the whole thing is Germany’s fault . While Germany is still unconscious, they go through its pockets, steal its wallet, and buy drinks for all their friends.

 
Biggoals2bdone said:
You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.

Really? Good to know that all the assorted medals my numerous  Uncles received between 1939-45 were not picked up on eBay. I realize my
Military history Degree does come from MUN, but even they could tell the difference between First and Second (most Newfs can count that hight).

Did you misplace your sense of humour this morning? ::)
 
Biggoals2bdone said:
You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.

recceguy said:
Remind me again what part Serbia played in WWII?

What does WWII have to do with "THE FIRST WORLD WAR, BAR FIGHT VERSION


BTW; good story.
 
Glad I finished eating before I read that...though I do have to ask, since the Diggers managed to get noticed in this, why didn't we?  Guess we got lumped in with the Americans again...:stirpot:

Now to lie back and watch the tracers going by overhead ;D.

MM
 
Maybe the point was that Canada was in the bar fight too and in fact at one point jumped over the ridge of the bar and knocked Germany down after both Britain and France had tried and failed to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, because Canada was dressed like Britain and sounded like America, everybody forgot that Canada was even there.
 
Or maybe someone got the dates confused and thought we were just hanging out with blue ball caps on, drinking our beers and watching it all happening with a WTF look on our faces?

MM
 
Pusser said:
Maybe the point was that Canada was in the bar fight too and in fact at one point jumped over the ridge of the bar and knocked Germany down after both Britain and France had tried and failed to do the same thing.  Unfortunately, because Canada was dressed like Britain and sounded like America, everybody forgot that Canada was even there.
:rofl: 

Best reply yet!
 
recceguy said:
Remind me again what part Serbia played in WWII?
Some of them helped the Germans by joining the 7th  SS-Freiwilligen-Gebirgs Division Prinz Eugen, for starters.

>:D
 
Biggoals2bdone said:
You fuzzy on your history?  Last time I checked Canada was in WW2.

:rofl:

I am glad that you fight the myth that for WW2 Canada's did not play a small role , in this tome about WW1...

However, it's not the only thing that is "very small indeed".

Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick Biggoals2bdone, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

black_adder01.jpg
 
the 48th regulator said:
:rofl:


Your brain, for example, is so minute, Baldrick Biggoals2bdone, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit.

Awesome....I can't wait to use that one!
 
The only thing missing is Britain has all its soccer hooligan friends (Canada, Australia, India etc.) jump Germany as well....
 
So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.
 
Perhaps in the name of National Pride a line could be inserted thusly:
"England had Canada behind him throughout, supporting his mighty punches.  Finally, "little" Canada had enough and bashed Germany's teeth in with a hockey stick, knocking him back  from his Vimy Chair, from which Germany had failed to be budged by either France or England."

And, of course.
"Though America was a late comer and was kicking Germany in the junk as he lay prostrate on the floor, few seemed to notice that Canada and Australia had already taken the sausage out of Fritz's hand and shoved it firmly in his face, continuously, for the last 100 seconds of the brawl."


 
Biggoals2bdone said:
So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.

    "Once upon a time there was a lovely little sausage called Baldrick and it lived happily ever after."

Visual presentation of this thread


dileas

tess
 
Biggoals2bdone said:
So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway,

NO!

I call bull$hitt.

IMO your post was WWI and backtracking to WWII is a handy revisionist convenience.
 
Biggoals2bdone said:
So in my haste I pressed 2 instead of 1 while typing, sue me, we were in both wars eitherway, and played significant roles at that. I'd say NOT mentioning Canada in WW1, is worse then not mentioning them in ww2, because popular historical opinion is that THAT is where we really made our mark (passchendaele, Vimy, etc) as well as earning nicknames from the Germans.

Please review the definitions of Satire, and note that factual accuracy is not one of its fundamental requirements.

It's one thing to make a mountain out of a molehill, it's quite another to make an effort to scrape enough crap together to make a molehill just to call it a mountain.

If you really feel that no specific mention of Canada is such a travesty, feel free to write your own version, but don't forget anyone: Participants in World War II

    * 2.1 Albania
    * 2.2 Andorra
    * 2.3 Argentina
    * 2.4 Armenia
    * 2.5 Australia
    * 2.6 Austria
    * 2.7 Azerbaijan
    * 2.8 Bahrain
    * 2.9 Belarus
    * 2.10 Belgium
    * 2.11 Bolivia
    * 2.12 Brazil
    * 2.13 Bulgaria
    * 2.14 Canada
    * 2.15 Ceylon (Sri Lanka)
    * 2.16 Chile
    * 2.17 China
    * 2.18 Colombia
    * 2.19 Costa Rica
    * 2.20 Croatia
    * 2.21 Cuba
    * 2.22 Czechoslovakia
    * 2.23 Denmark
    * 2.24 Dominican Republic
    * 2.25 Ecuador
    * 2.26 Egypt
    * 2.27 El Salvador
    * 2.28 Estonia
    * 2.29 Ethiopia
    * 2.30 Fiji
    * 2.31 Finland
    * 2.32 France
          o 2.32.1 Free French Forces
          o 2.32.2 Vichy France
    * 2.33 Georgia
    * 2.34 Germany
    * 2.35 Gibraltar
    * 2.36 Greece
    * 2.37 Guatemala
    * 2.38 Haiti
    * 2.39 Honduras
    * 2.40 Hong Kong
    * 2.41 Hungary
    * 2.42 Iceland
    * 2.43 India (Including Pakistan & Bangladesh)
          o 2.43.1 Andaman & Nicobar Islands
    * 2.44 Indonesia
    * 2.45 Iran
    * 2.46 Iraq
    * 2.47 Ireland
    * 2.48 Italy
    * 2.49 Japan
    * 2.50 Korea
          o 2.50.1 Provisional Government of the Republic of Korea
          o 2.50.2 Korea under Japanese rule
    * 2.51 Laos
    * 2.52 Latvia
    * 2.53 Lebanon
    * 2.54 Liberia
    * 2.55 Liechtenstein
    * 2.56 Lithuania
    * 2.57 Luxembourg
    * 2.58 Malaya
    * 2.59 Malta
    * 2.60 Manchukuo
    * 2.61 Mexico
    * 2.62 Monaco
    * 2.63 Mongolia
    * 2.64 Morocco
    * 2.65 Nauru
    * 2.66 Nepal
    * 2.67 Netherlands
          o 2.67.1 Netherlands East Indies
    * 2.68 Newfoundland
    * 2.69 New Zealand
    * 2.70 Nicaragua
    * 2.71 Northern Rhodesia
    * 2.72 Norway
    * 2.73 Oman
    * 2.74 Palestine
    * 2.75 Panama
    * 2.76 Paraguay
    * 2.77 Peru
    * 2.78 Philippines
    * 2.79 Poland
    * 2.80 Portugal
          o 2.80.1 Portuguese Timor
          o 2.80.2 Macau
    * 2.81 Romania
    * 2.82 Samoa
    * 2.83 American Samoa
    * 2.84 San Marino
    * 2.85 Saudi Arabia
    * 2.86 Singapore
    * 2.87 South Africa
    * 2.88 Southern Rhodesia
    * 2.89 Soviet Union / Union of Soviet Socialist Republics
    * 2.90 Spain
    * 2.91 Sweden
    * 2.92 Switzerland
    * 2.93 Syria
    * 2.94 Thailand
    * 2.95 Tonga
    * 2.96 Transjordan
    * 2.97 Turkey
    * 2.98 United Kingdom
          o 2.98.1 Channel Islands
          o 2.98.2 Isle of Man
          o 2.98.3 Northern Ireland
    * 2.99 United States of America
    * 2.100 Uruguay
    * 2.101 Vatican City
    * 2.102 Venezuela
    * 2.103 Yemen
    * 2.104 Yugoslavia
 
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