I was in BMQ in Borden up to a few weeks ago. I put in the 'request to cease training', then the request for VR form upon return to my unit. Heres the story behind it, and now why I regret it:
The platoon that I was assigned to was a motley crew of highschool kids, some people in their early 20s that didn't graduate high school, and a few people in college. At first we didn't really work in cohesion, and I noticed we had a deficit in leadership. I was slated to be the platoon leader over a weekend (I was assigned it starting on a friday and ending on a monday, long shift) and I thought I could change this as I had some leadership experience from a previous civy job. Well, I was wrong and I made a few mistakes here and there so naturally the NCOs saw this and jacked me up pretty hard about it. Because I was no longer just a grey man I was on their radar, and the staff jacked me up extra hard whenever they had a chance.
To top it off I managed to exacerbate a previous running injury (IT band) on the confidence course so I was hurtin and had an ice pack on my knee at nearly all times in the shacks. (SUCK IT UP YOU ***** was the response I got from an instructor when asked why I was limping and jogging slow)
This added some extra stress to an already stressful course.
Then I received some disturbing family news from the homefront. I really lost my focus in the course because I always had this lingering in the back of my mind, and I had started to lose some sleep over the issue. As the days went on the stress increased and all I could think about was this family issue (christ I thought I was getting a stomach ulcer over it). So I decided to throw in the towel and put in the 'request to cease training' form, giving the reasons that I didn't think it was for me and couldn't handle the stress imposed. I wasn't to happy when I got home, a mixture of shame/anger/and stress so I indicated to my unit I would like to be released (I haven't heard from them as besides the office staff they are 'closed').
Anyhow fast forward a few weeks to the present and this family issue has been mended, so its pretty much resolved. And for some strange reason I miss BMQ, and the platoon, and everything else military.
So I'm at a loss of what to do now? Should I let myself simmer down, go back to university (I'm in my last year) and try again when I'm done? I'm kinda at a loss here...
The platoon that I was assigned to was a motley crew of highschool kids, some people in their early 20s that didn't graduate high school, and a few people in college. At first we didn't really work in cohesion, and I noticed we had a deficit in leadership. I was slated to be the platoon leader over a weekend (I was assigned it starting on a friday and ending on a monday, long shift) and I thought I could change this as I had some leadership experience from a previous civy job. Well, I was wrong and I made a few mistakes here and there so naturally the NCOs saw this and jacked me up pretty hard about it. Because I was no longer just a grey man I was on their radar, and the staff jacked me up extra hard whenever they had a chance.
To top it off I managed to exacerbate a previous running injury (IT band) on the confidence course so I was hurtin and had an ice pack on my knee at nearly all times in the shacks. (SUCK IT UP YOU ***** was the response I got from an instructor when asked why I was limping and jogging slow)
This added some extra stress to an already stressful course.
Then I received some disturbing family news from the homefront. I really lost my focus in the course because I always had this lingering in the back of my mind, and I had started to lose some sleep over the issue. As the days went on the stress increased and all I could think about was this family issue (christ I thought I was getting a stomach ulcer over it). So I decided to throw in the towel and put in the 'request to cease training' form, giving the reasons that I didn't think it was for me and couldn't handle the stress imposed. I wasn't to happy when I got home, a mixture of shame/anger/and stress so I indicated to my unit I would like to be released (I haven't heard from them as besides the office staff they are 'closed').
Anyhow fast forward a few weeks to the present and this family issue has been mended, so its pretty much resolved. And for some strange reason I miss BMQ, and the platoon, and everything else military.
So I'm at a loss of what to do now? Should I let myself simmer down, go back to university (I'm in my last year) and try again when I'm done? I'm kinda at a loss here...