1. Walking with PO during open locker inspection. He gets so pissed that he starts throwing random objects from people's lockers. Gets to buddy's locker, throws his underwear all over the bed, then turns around and says "Why the **** is there underwear all over your bed?" Buddy replies with "Because you just threw them there, PO..." to which PO says "Yes, I was a little angry! You people piss me off!!!!"
2. Buddy walks into a room and addresses a particularily smart-mouthed master-seaman as "leading seaman". Buddy gets jacked up. Proceeds to address him as "ordinary seaman". Master-seaman is too peeved to say anything by this point. Buddy says "sorry master-corporal!". This was a total gong show.
3. Doing drill with three angry instructors in HD-4 at St-Jean (the "Hall of Pain") and not having a very good day as a platoon. Subsequently having three more very angry instructors walk out onto the drill square from out of nowhere, thus getting yelled at from just about every possible direction and with every profanity, both English and French, in existence. We did a lot of pushups that day.
4. Doing weapons classes with a particularily loud PPCLI MCpl. Several people had the bad habit of putting their finger on the trigger, to which the MCpl would yell "GET YOUR FINGER OFF THAT TRIGGER COWBOY!!!!"
5. The whole platoon once got in trouble and we were made to march around a parking lot and do drill for 45 minutes. It wasn't that hard, but our platoon was having another bad day and the instructors were out to screw us up that day. We messed up so many times, and were lined up in three ranks so that we could get yelled at. The best part was listening to MBdr go from lecturing us, to shouting, to yelling profanities at us, to having trouble finding the words to insult us in English, and finally just yelling a string of profanities and insults at us in French.
6. A certain Pte dropped his rifle. They made him do 25 pushups. He forgot to remove the cigarette from his mouth, so he was made to do them all over again. Buddy was walking with him and laughed when the rifle dropped, so he was made to do 25 pushups too.
7. After finishing a ruck march and running the obstacle course twice, I was exhausted. I crashed onto my rucksack for a couple of minutes, and was in a "provocative" position. MBdr walks up to me with his pace stick and in his thick French accent says "What the ****, are you humping that rucksack?" while doing a humping motion with his hips. I smiled and started vigorously humping my rucksack. MBdr didn't know what to say, he just stood there speechlessly with his mouth agape and a blank look on his face.
8. A certain Pte didn't shave regularily or use deodorant. During inspection, Sgt noticed the lack of shaving from a distance and walked in very close to inspect buddy's face. Sgt notices the stench and says in a very thick French accent "I don't mean to be rude, but you smell."
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buddy had lost his mag, or so he thought when we were on taskings...at the end of the day he accidentally took my gore-tex with which I had my extra mag in my pocket, and handed that mag in. He was also a good guy and turned in my mags and EIS for me. Problem. Can you guess it?! Yup I had 1 mag missing. I was at building J at the time (this was at Gagetown) trying to print something out, and voila! My other buddy who doubled from our Qs to the building looked at me and said "DUDE! You had better get back! The MCpl is shitting A BRICK!" I was like WTF? I didnt do anything... so I ran back and the MCpl was like "Um....sorry about the mess on your bed...I thought you tried to sneak off a mag somewhere an I tore your kit apart...but good thing your buddy fessed up and gave me the one he thought was missing though" and walked away. I went into my room and holly fuck...my kit was all over the place with all my kit dumped onto my bed, every pocket unbuttoned and turned inside out :
