The Canadian Military, thanks to incompetent Generals, disinterested, myopic politicians, and a weak, pathetic public, has pretty much lost it's warfighting ability. That may seem like an attack on the troops, but it's not. Despite some of my rants, I imagine the average troopie is pretty much of the same mind as I was a decade or so ago. He wants to get get over to the war of the moment. As it was in my day, that war is in Iraq. A Canadian who wants to be a real soldier though, riding an APC in a column on the charge to Bagdahd, with A-10's above and tankers clearing the way ahead, is by nature, going to be disappointed. In short, Canada doesn't do the war fighting thing anymore. We haven't since 1953. And I don't expect it to change anytime soon.
As a nation, Canadians don't seem to understand the military ethos. We don't have a vibrant ROTC program, and our politicians are so incompetent, they can't even overcome a treasonous Quebec caucus to do what's right and sign on for missile defence.
As a nation, our so-called "film industry" is so busy making boring, artsy films which nobody outside of the National Film Board of Canada watches that they've never made anything close to a decent Canadian war movie. That's not the case with other nations. The Americans and Brits are obviously good at putting their own military history on celluloid, and in effect into the minds of their public. The Aussies, a nation of comparable size and history to us, do that too. We've all seen Mel Gibson in "Gallipolli", and the "Odd Angry Shot." But I've yet to see a Canadian first run Canadian Movie called "Vimy" or "Dieppe."
As a result, we will have to look to our recent past for decent battle honours. I am willing to help out by providing some writings of my own on great Canadian Battle Honours since 1953.
Today, we'll discuss the actions of the CF in 1991 during the First Gulf War.
It was August, 1990, when Saddam decided to push the west's tolerance. He invaded Kuwait, a land he claimed historically as Iraqi territory. Coincidentally, this would have afforded him control over about a quarter of the world's oil supply, and put him in a position to threaten Saudi Arabia, the next biggest producer after himself and Russia. Consolidation of his power had the potential to allow him to become a major player in the mid-east, someone who could negotiate with the west on something approaching equal terms.
President Bush (the first), could not allow this. The US, heavily dependent on mid-east oil, had just spent 40 years and trillions of dollars defeating a totalitarian Soviet Union in the cold war, and was in no mood to play footsie with a new Saladin in the Arabian Peninsula. The stage was set for war.
Over the following several months, President Bush built a coalition of free nations to dislodge Saddam from his new conquest. He pressured the little thug to withdraw, and dispatched US Forces to Saudi Arbabia to drive home the point. Still, Saddam refused to budge.
Finally, war became inevitable. At this point, Valiant Canada, convinced that Saddam must be stopped, entered the fray. PM Mulroney held a cabinet meeting to discuss the American request for the deployment of a Canadian Mechanized Brigade to deploy to the Gulf under the command of a US Armound Division.
After careful planning, the senior brass of the CF advised the defence minister of their assessment. Such a deployment in a full scale war would result in the following;
Dead; 500 troops
Wounded; 1500 troops
Missing; 25
The Baie Comeau boy furrowed his brow, and frowned. "This is a tough decision, way tougher than the one to pander to the Quebec caucas and send all that lucrative CF 18 work to Bombardier instead of out to the 'Peg when they really deserved it.
His defence minister sighed, "Yes Mr Prime Minister, it gets even worse. If we lose that many troops, our polsters suggest we as the government will probably wear the blame for it because we've neglected our military for years."
Mulroney chortled, "well this makes the decision easy then. Fuck principles. We'll announce that we wholeheartedly support the ouster of Saddam from Kuwait and are joining the coalition. Then, we'll announce the deployment of Canadian Forces to the Gulf. That'll shut the Pro-America crowd up. Then, quietly, we'll send something significant, but not so significant they might actually get hurt. Let's say a bunch of ships. Wait does Iraq have a navy?"
"NO SIR!" shouted Vice-Admiral Anderson of Maritime Command.
"Good!" snapped Mulroney."We'll send a destroyer, no, 3 destroyers, by God we'll teach those sand monkeys a lesson!"
"Mr Prime Minister," whimpered the Canadian Ambassador to Washington, "Even India's sending 3 ships, I think we need something a little more substantial to placate the State Department."
Mulroney went silent and stared out the window, across the Parliament Grounds and at the War Memorial, which was at the time covered in pigeon shit and anarchist graffiti. He pinched his pronounced chin, and thought deeply. Everyone in the room was on tenterhooks.
Then he spoke, slowly and quietly. His smooth, fine port-poured over gravel-voice barely audible over the mindless chants of striking Canada Post workers outside.
"I have no problem with our forces killing people. That's what they're trained to do" he said, to nods of approval from the assorted cabinet ministers.
"But I do have a problem with our people BEING killed by others. Especially if somehow that gets blamed on ME!"
The cabinet looked puzzled.
"Fuck you guys are dumb!" shouted Mulroney. "I'll spell it out then. If they pin it on me, then by default, it sticks to you.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Michael Wilson, the Finance Minister looked quietly at his shoes. External Affairs Minister Barbara Mcdougall scratched her nose, then picked quietly at her fingernail.
Suddenly, a soft voice was heard from Defence. It was CDS De'Chastelaine.
"Sir, we have a plan."
"Let's hear it then", chided Mulroney.
"What if we did this. We could send over 3 ships, just like India did. We'll have to outfit them with old style 20 mm bofors cannon from the war museum, but they'll do the job. Then we could send over a field hospital, most Canadians like watching MASH reruns, so they'll be ok with that."
"Yes, said Mulroney, I like it. I like it alot. Please continue."
"We won't make the US happy with that kind of shit though. We need to actually do something. What if we also sent over a few fighters. They could be used to help knock down the Iraqi Air Force."
"Whoa, shouted Mulroney, I saw pictures of dog fights from WW 2. People could get killed doing that. No Fucking WAY!"
"Wait, wait sir. I'm not done yet. The Iraqi Air Force is done. There'll be 700 US and UK fighters over there. We can say we're in it. But do you think a few Arab fighters are going to take on NATO's vanguard? No way, the planes not destroyed on the ground will run to Iran. Nobody's going to take us on in the air. That's the beauty of it. We can say we're fighting it out, without having to do so. Plus, our security force at the airfield from the RCRS can dig all the defensive positions, then, as soon as the air war starts and they're done digging, we'll pull the Royals and deploy the Van Doos to take all the glory. That'll keep the Quebec Caucas at bay."
"Sounds like a plan enthused Mulroney."
NEXT-The incredible tale of Air Command in Gulf War 1!
As a nation, Canadians don't seem to understand the military ethos. We don't have a vibrant ROTC program, and our politicians are so incompetent, they can't even overcome a treasonous Quebec caucus to do what's right and sign on for missile defence.
As a nation, our so-called "film industry" is so busy making boring, artsy films which nobody outside of the National Film Board of Canada watches that they've never made anything close to a decent Canadian war movie. That's not the case with other nations. The Americans and Brits are obviously good at putting their own military history on celluloid, and in effect into the minds of their public. The Aussies, a nation of comparable size and history to us, do that too. We've all seen Mel Gibson in "Gallipolli", and the "Odd Angry Shot." But I've yet to see a Canadian first run Canadian Movie called "Vimy" or "Dieppe."
As a result, we will have to look to our recent past for decent battle honours. I am willing to help out by providing some writings of my own on great Canadian Battle Honours since 1953.
Today, we'll discuss the actions of the CF in 1991 during the First Gulf War.
It was August, 1990, when Saddam decided to push the west's tolerance. He invaded Kuwait, a land he claimed historically as Iraqi territory. Coincidentally, this would have afforded him control over about a quarter of the world's oil supply, and put him in a position to threaten Saudi Arabia, the next biggest producer after himself and Russia. Consolidation of his power had the potential to allow him to become a major player in the mid-east, someone who could negotiate with the west on something approaching equal terms.
President Bush (the first), could not allow this. The US, heavily dependent on mid-east oil, had just spent 40 years and trillions of dollars defeating a totalitarian Soviet Union in the cold war, and was in no mood to play footsie with a new Saladin in the Arabian Peninsula. The stage was set for war.
Over the following several months, President Bush built a coalition of free nations to dislodge Saddam from his new conquest. He pressured the little thug to withdraw, and dispatched US Forces to Saudi Arbabia to drive home the point. Still, Saddam refused to budge.
Finally, war became inevitable. At this point, Valiant Canada, convinced that Saddam must be stopped, entered the fray. PM Mulroney held a cabinet meeting to discuss the American request for the deployment of a Canadian Mechanized Brigade to deploy to the Gulf under the command of a US Armound Division.
After careful planning, the senior brass of the CF advised the defence minister of their assessment. Such a deployment in a full scale war would result in the following;
Dead; 500 troops
Wounded; 1500 troops
Missing; 25
The Baie Comeau boy furrowed his brow, and frowned. "This is a tough decision, way tougher than the one to pander to the Quebec caucas and send all that lucrative CF 18 work to Bombardier instead of out to the 'Peg when they really deserved it.
His defence minister sighed, "Yes Mr Prime Minister, it gets even worse. If we lose that many troops, our polsters suggest we as the government will probably wear the blame for it because we've neglected our military for years."
Mulroney chortled, "well this makes the decision easy then. Fuck principles. We'll announce that we wholeheartedly support the ouster of Saddam from Kuwait and are joining the coalition. Then, we'll announce the deployment of Canadian Forces to the Gulf. That'll shut the Pro-America crowd up. Then, quietly, we'll send something significant, but not so significant they might actually get hurt. Let's say a bunch of ships. Wait does Iraq have a navy?"
"NO SIR!" shouted Vice-Admiral Anderson of Maritime Command.
"Good!" snapped Mulroney."We'll send a destroyer, no, 3 destroyers, by God we'll teach those sand monkeys a lesson!"
"Mr Prime Minister," whimpered the Canadian Ambassador to Washington, "Even India's sending 3 ships, I think we need something a little more substantial to placate the State Department."
Mulroney went silent and stared out the window, across the Parliament Grounds and at the War Memorial, which was at the time covered in pigeon shit and anarchist graffiti. He pinched his pronounced chin, and thought deeply. Everyone in the room was on tenterhooks.
Then he spoke, slowly and quietly. His smooth, fine port-poured over gravel-voice barely audible over the mindless chants of striking Canada Post workers outside.
"I have no problem with our forces killing people. That's what they're trained to do" he said, to nods of approval from the assorted cabinet ministers.
"But I do have a problem with our people BEING killed by others. Especially if somehow that gets blamed on ME!"
The cabinet looked puzzled.
"Fuck you guys are dumb!" shouted Mulroney. "I'll spell it out then. If they pin it on me, then by default, it sticks to you.
There was an uncomfortable silence. Michael Wilson, the Finance Minister looked quietly at his shoes. External Affairs Minister Barbara Mcdougall scratched her nose, then picked quietly at her fingernail.
Suddenly, a soft voice was heard from Defence. It was CDS De'Chastelaine.
"Sir, we have a plan."
"Let's hear it then", chided Mulroney.
"What if we did this. We could send over 3 ships, just like India did. We'll have to outfit them with old style 20 mm bofors cannon from the war museum, but they'll do the job. Then we could send over a field hospital, most Canadians like watching MASH reruns, so they'll be ok with that."
"Yes, said Mulroney, I like it. I like it alot. Please continue."
"We won't make the US happy with that kind of shit though. We need to actually do something. What if we also sent over a few fighters. They could be used to help knock down the Iraqi Air Force."
"Whoa, shouted Mulroney, I saw pictures of dog fights from WW 2. People could get killed doing that. No Fucking WAY!"
"Wait, wait sir. I'm not done yet. The Iraqi Air Force is done. There'll be 700 US and UK fighters over there. We can say we're in it. But do you think a few Arab fighters are going to take on NATO's vanguard? No way, the planes not destroyed on the ground will run to Iran. Nobody's going to take us on in the air. That's the beauty of it. We can say we're fighting it out, without having to do so. Plus, our security force at the airfield from the RCRS can dig all the defensive positions, then, as soon as the air war starts and they're done digging, we'll pull the Royals and deploy the Van Doos to take all the glory. That'll keep the Quebec Caucas at bay."
"Sounds like a plan enthused Mulroney."
NEXT-The incredible tale of Air Command in Gulf War 1!
