This should get you started...
The Mess Dinner
Messes are integral to military life and serve a vital role in fostering morale and building esprit de corps among Canadian Forces personnel. A Mess Dinner is a formal military dinner held on special occasions, and it is a central event in the life of the Mess; it is here that members of a unit and their guests meet for fellowship and hospitality. It is important that those entering the Mess or enjoying its hospitality should know and comply with its traditions and customs, which centre on courtesy and respect.
An invitation to dine in the Mess is an invitation to enter the home and share in the life of the organization. Though Mess Dinner procedures vary from unit to unit, they are fundamental to any unit's traditions. Those invited to attend a Mess Dinner are expected to accept or send regrets in the same form in which the invitation was tendered and as promptly as possible. They are also expected to arrive a few minutes before the time specified on the invitation.
A CFMS Mess Dinner includes some (if not all) of the following elements:
Receiving line
If there is a receiving line, those attending the dinner proceed through it without delay, exchanging friendly greetings.
Socializing before dinner
The company will assemble for a short while in the anteroom for conversation and an aperitif or pre-dinner drink. Sherry is traditional, but no one is under any obligation to drink alcohol. At fifteen minutes and again at five minutes before dinner, a bugle call or other musical signal will remind the assembly that the meal is about to begin. During this period, all members and their guests should consult the seating plan in the lobby to find out where they will sit and who their companions at table will be. It is also wise to use this time to make any personal arrangements that are necessary to ensure that one does not have to leave the dining room during the program.
Procession to dinner
When it is time to go in to dinner, a procession forms behind those seated at the head table and their guests, and moves into the dining room. When everyone has found his or her place, all stand behind their chairs.
Grace
As soon as all are in place, the President of the Mess Committee (PMC) taps for order; the PMC, a chaplain or a member then says Grace. The company is then seated.
Dinner
A Mess Dinner comprises several courses, each with its own wine, which no one is required to drink; those who do not drink alcohol may drink water, which will be on the table, or ask the server for a suitable non-alcoholic beverage. While dining, everyone engages his or her neighbours at the table in quiet, pleasant conversation on subjects of general interest. Argument, loud talk and rowdiness are disliked in the Mess, where the company is expected to behave in a mannerly way. Those who wish to leave the table for any reason must ask the PMC for permission.
Clearing the table
After the dessert course, the table is cleared of all dishes, cutlery, glasses and napkins, leaving only a port glass for use during the toasts.
Serving the port
A decanter of port is presented to the person at the foot of each table, who fills the port glass and, without setting the decanter down, passes it immediately to the left. Each person repeats the procedure, filling the port glass and passing the bottle to the left and never across the table. A non-alcoholic drink may be substituted for port. The contents of the glass are left untouched until the Loyal Toast is proposed.
The Loyal Toast
When all the glasses have been filled, the PMC rises, taps for order and, in one of Canada's official languages, asks the Vice President of the Mess Committee (VPMC) to propose the Loyal Toast. The VPMC rises and, in the other official language, says: â Å“Ladies and gentlemen, the Queen of Canada.â ? All rise and, if a band is present, leave their glasses on the table and stand at attention while the Royal Anthem (â Å“God Save the Queenâ ?) is played. Then all lift their glasses, saying, â Å“the Queen of Canada,â ? and drink to the health of Her Majesty. Then all resume their seats and return to quiet conversation. If no band is present, when the VPMC proposes the Loyal Toast, all rise and immediately lift their glasses to toast the health of Her Majesty. Because there are several toasts still to be made, the wise person sips only a little at each toast.
Toast to the Colonel-in-Chief
After a short pause, the PMC rises again, taps for order and, in one of the official languages, asks the VPMC to propose the toast to the Colonel-in-Chief. The VPMC rises and, in the other official language, says, â Å“Ladies and gentlemen, our Colonel-in-Chief,â ? followed by the appropriate name. All rise and, if a band is present, leave their glasses on the table and stand at attention while the Colonel-in-Chief's music is played; then all lift their glasses, saying â Å“the Colonel-in-Chiefâ ? followed by the appropriate name, take a sip of port, resume their seats, and return to quiet conversation. If no band is present, when the VPMC proposes the toast, all rise and immediately lift their glasses to toast the health of the Colonel-in-Chief.
Toasts to foreign heads of state
If guests from foreign countries are present at dinner, the PMC proposes a toast to the Head of State of each country represented. Again, if a band is present, all stand while the national anthem of that country is played, then offer a suitable phrase of good wishes, take a sip of port, sit down, and resume
Recognition of Environmental Commands, Branches and Regiments
After the official toasts, coffee is served and, if a band is present, the marches of the Environmental Commands, branches and regiments represented at the dinner are played in order of precedence. (The PMC will have arranged the repertoire with the band director.) The non-medical members of each formation or regiment being honoured will stand at their places during the playing of their march. CFMS members, even though affiliated with an Environmental Command, are not obliged to stand during the playing of that command's march; despite their Army, Navy and Air Force uniforms, they traditionally emphasize their medical team identity by standing only for â Å“The Medical Branch Marchâ ?. (This practice is evolving, as many medical personnel now choose to stand when their Environmental Commands are honoured.) In order to be ready to stand at the right moment, members should be aware of the order of precedence (see Honours, Flags and Heritage Structure of the Canadian Forces [A-AD-200-000 / AG-000]). Contrary to the practice in many other messes, only chaplains are expected to stand during the playing of â Å“Ode to Joyâ ?, the Chaplain Branch march. There is general applause at the conclusion of each march.
Concluding remarks and adjournment
The Commanding Officer or senior non-commissioned officer who is hosting the Mess Dinner may wish to make some remarks or invite a member or guest to do so. All comments should be brief, however, as the conclusion of the dinner approaches. The PMC signals the end of dinner by tapping the gavel and announcing the adjournment. All rise and stand at their places while the hosting Commanding Officer or senior non-commissioned officer departs with the head table guests. All the other diners follow. The PMC and the VPMC remain until everyone else has left the dining room.
Socializing after dinner
Members and guests adjourn to the anteroom after dinner to enjoy general conversation until the departure of the senior member of the Mess (i.e., the hosting Commanding Officer or senior non-commissioned officer). If any member or guest must depart early, good manners require him or her to take leave of the host and make proper apologies
.
