How to get family on board

[SoldierInTheMaking]

When I was 15 that was the first time told my mom I wanted to join the military when I was older. I brought it up again when I was 16 and again 17, finally when I turned 18 I started talking about it a lot more. I live with my mom so I never talked about it much to my dad until I was 18. Really all I did was call him one day and told him that is what I want to do, he did have his doubts and didn't really want me doing it, but after talking to him about it for a while and him realizing that this is what I really want to do, he understood that and he's happy for me. When I told him I was going for infantry he say's "isn't their something else you can do, like work with computer's" lol I told him no dad that's not what I want to do I want to be right in the action, and that's how it went for me.

 

[FastEddy]

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Hi Bigwood got your PM okay, check for answer.

Cheers.

 

[Ex-Dragoon]

When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.

Was that around the time the British set fire to Washington?

 

[stewacide]

When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.

The economy isn't what it used to be. A college or university education is the new high school, except it leaves you either in debt or living at home well into your 20s (a little bit of both in my case )

Particularly here in the country's industrial heartland the difference in expected outcomes between my 20-something peers who are stuck in minimum-wage-slavery or in transitory resource work, and their parents who got obscenely well paid factory and public service jobs out of high school, is frighteningly stark.

 

[PMedMoe]

The economy isn't what it used to be. A college or university education is the new high school, except it leaves you either in debt or living at home well into your 20s (a little bit of both in my case )

Particularly here in the country's industrial heartland the difference in expected outcomes between my 20-something peers who are stuck in minimum-wage-slavery or in transitory resource work, and their parents who got obscenely well paid factory and public service jobs out of high school, is frighteningly stark.

Give me a freakin' break.  I moved out with a minimum wage paying job and lived in, basically, a rooming house where I had a living room/sitting room/bedroom, a kitchen across the hall and shared a bath.  It's called living without; as in without a car, without a cellphone, without all the cable channels......

Oh, and I had my student loan to pay off too.  :

 

[Journeyman]

My dad owns his own company called global defense incorporated

Your father owns Global Defense Inc?
....of Austin, Texas....with the American spelling of "defence" and all.....

 

[bigwood]

When I turned 18, I started doing 'adult things' like move out of my parents house and get an education and a job.  Are you an adult or some kind of house pet?  Hopefully, you have some sort of life plan ahead of you.  Start it now.

Thats great im happy for you. Im not sure about how your home life was but mine is perfectly fine. There is no reason for me to move out. First of all i cant even afford to...and im in school as it is and i have a plan its just whether or not to stick to it or not...

Your father owns Global Defense Inc?
....of Austin, Texas....with the American spelling of "defence" and all.....

nope not in austin texas and sorry about the spelling.

 

[stewacide]

Give me a freakin' break...

My point isn't that minimum wage is terrible. I managed to just pay all my expenses (tuition, rent, food, books and everything) making minimum wage and living as frugally as possible.

My point is it's vanishingly hard to progress beyond minimum wage nowadays - to get a secure career and make middle-class money - with just high school. Those jobs are either disappearing (private sector union jobs), or increasingly require a degree (most decent white collar and public sector jobs)... or else they're what most people would consider precarious hardship professions like the military or resource extraction.

To tell someone just out of highschool to they need to move out and get a job is to doom them to a marginal existence their entire lives. It'd be pretty frightening to be 40 years old making $11 an hour, particularly with dependants. It'd be nearly impossible to try and go through college or university at that age with no support.

 

[PMedMoe]

To tell someone just out of highschool to they need to move out and get a job is to doom them to a marginal existence their entire lives.

I don't know about that, it would depend on the mindset of the person, wouldn't it?  I know many people whose parents encouraged them to try and live on their own when they got a job.  They could come back if things didn't work out, but at least they got to experience independence.

 

[JBoyd]

Personally I feel there is a direct correlation between living with your parents and a lack of responsibility.

I moved out when I was 18, my girlfriend moved out when she was 16. Moving out is part of growing up, as well as becoming an adult. My sister is 24 this year, works part time, has been going to UBC for the past 3-4 years, moved out at 19 when she went to live in Japan for a year to teach. University is not an excuse to live with your parents, there are things called part-time jobs and roommates... they have been around for quite some time.

Not sure what is wrong with parents today, because mine made it quite clear that when I was done High School I was on my own (which is also how I feel it should be). It seems that perhaps the lack of maturity and sense of entitlement in todays youth that is being talked about in this thread is true.

 

[bigwood]

Personally I feel there is a direct correlation between living with your parents and a lack of responsibility.

I moved out when I was 18, my girlfriend moved out when she was 16. Moving out is part of growing up, as well as becoming an adult. My sister is 24 this year, works part time, has been going to UBC for the past 3-4 years, moved out at 19 when she went to live in Japan for a year to teach. University is not an excuse to live with your parents, there are things called part-time jobs and roommates... they have been around for quite some time.

Not sure what is wrong with parents today, because mine made it quite clear that when I was done High School I was on my own (which is also how I feel it should be). It seems that perhaps the lack of maturity and sense of entitlement in todays youth that is being talked about in this thread is true.

i understand where you are coming from. my parents are not these over protective easy going folks as you may think. I have a full time job and go to night school 2 nights a week. i dont make near enough to move out in my city it is crazy expensive around here to get in some where decent i rather live at home then in some crappy neighbour hood. I have 2 brothers, one who is now 28 moved out when he was 26, all because he went to school until he was about 23 then his job didnt give him security or the pay to move out until he got settled in.

anyways we are way off topic here on responsibility and the process of growing up.

I started this thread to get motivated to join the forces or get some opinions on what i should do, not to be negatilvly crtisized about how I'm immature and should move out of my parents at the age of 18.

 

[JBoyd]

I started this thread to get motivated to join the forces or get some opinions on what i should do, not to be negatively criticized about how I'm immature and should move out of my parents at the age of 18.

Perhaps if you need to be 'motivated' to do something you should stop and reflect on why you are doing it in the first place. I am a firm believer in a work-life balance, meaning that if you are not happy in the work you do (that you take no passion in it) then your life will seemingly be out of balance.

There will be many choices you will make in your life, especially now that you are an adult. None of these should require motivation; they should all be driven by want, need, and passion.

 

[RubberTree]

Just because you moved out at 18 doesn't make it right or the only thing to do. Different families, different times. There's nothing wrong with an 18 year old living at home. If anything, its probably the most financially responsible thing to do in today's market. Stop with the grief...

 

[aesop081]

There's nothing wrong with an 18 year old living at home.

You are right, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. That being said, at 18, having to ask perfect strangers on the internet what one should say to mom and dad........well........thats a bit much.

 

[bigwood]

You are right, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. That being said, at 18, having to ask perfect strangers on the internet what one should say to mom and dad........well........thats a bit much.

i wasn't asking how to convince my parents how to let me join the military i was asking in general what is a good way to tell them im interested in signing up. Because lets face it-it's hard for parents (im assuming) to let their kid just go join the military...

I have no problem in just telling them im going to join, i just want to be able to back my self up to convince them that its a good idea...

 

[JBoyd]

i wasn't asking how to convince my parents how to let me join the military i was asking in general what is a good way to tell them im interested in signing up. Because lets face it-it's hard for parents (im assuming) to let their kid just go join the military...

I have no problem in just telling them im going to join, i just want to be able to back my self up to convince them that its a good idea...

all in all there is no convincing needed, you are an adult now and ultimately the decision is yours. That being said, tell them the reasons why you want to join, why joining is important to you. My dad has always wanted me to join so there was no apprehension when I told him I had applied, my mother obviously worried. I told her the reasons I wanted to join (great career opportunity, government job, pension, security for my family, etc). My advice to you is just be honest with your parents and tell them what made you want to join no matter how silly it may seem.

 

[bigwood]

all in all there is no convincing needed, you are an adult now and ultimately the decision is yours. That being said, tell them the reasons why you want to join, why joining is important to you. My dad has always wanted me to join so there was no apprehension when I told him I had applied, my mother obviously worried. I told her the reasons I wanted to join (great career opportunity, government job, pension, security for my family, etc). My advice to you is just be honest with your parents and tell them what made you want to join no matter how silly it may seem.

Thank you, thats what i was looking for.

 

[BradCon]

Depending on how much you like them, you can just apply and tell them the day before you ship out. 

 

[bigwood]

Depending on how much you like them, you can just apply and tell them the day before you ship out.

thats always an option.

now a question for everyone who is currently a full time INF soldier (in all categories like arty and even armoured soldiers)

do you really like or even love your job? the reason im asking is that im not one of those guys that have dreamed of being in the army since i was young, nor did any family members inspire me to join. Im looking into the military because my current career choice is in the shitter and was hoping to find something new. But do you have to be a full out gung-ho personality of a person to be in the military? I would like to know if there was anyone similar to me that just joined because of interest and loves it.

 

[mariomike]

There must be some, but I can't recall anyone who wasn't proud of having been a member of the CF. Whether in war or peace, regular or reserve, long time or short time.