My story

[rustysoap]

Maybe you guys can give me some ideas here.  I told my family that I had done my CFAT and would be moving on with the process and should I be offered a job, I'd take it. My father said nothing, he's more of a "let's wait and see how this plays out" type of guy, my sister was on my side, my fiancee knew from the get-go and supported my choice to join the military, my mother on the other hand, starts laying guilt trips on me, telling me people in the military are uneducated, the government will always deploy the most inexperienced ones because they want them to be killed, why don't I find an office job which is much safer, etc (I'm sre you guys have heard your share as well). My argument with my mom went as follows: Why do you have to be so negative? Why would the government WANT to get their troops killed, why do you think I WILL die, this isn't PANAMA where the cops (Panama doesn't have a military, it's a national police and they look like military) are uneducated and corrupt, "and then you wonder why I never tell you anything, you'll always try and bring me down", Then when she kept throwing me her arguments again, which I've heard a million times over, I say "You know, what, you're absolutely right, I'm not going to bother arguing with you anymore, you're right, that's it!" "so you're not joining?" "I most certainly am! I'm not going to live my life regretting not going through with MY choice in life."

I don't know what else to do here. I'm going to join regardless, but it would be nice to have my family's entire approval and support here. I know my dad would be behind me if I get in, as would my sister, my mom I know will continue with her guilt trips of bad health, nightmares, etc... How did some of you guys make your family members who didn't support you, finally support you?I don't want to get this job and leave for BMQ on bad terms with my mother. I'm thinking of sending her to a shrink or something, she relies to much on us (sister and I).

 

[Kat Stevens]

I didn't have time to convince anyone.  I went to the RC, did medical, CFAT, swearing in, and was off to the CFRC in a 10 day time frame.  I went home and said "  I joined the army, see you in a couple of years."  That's an over simplification, but pretty much how it went.

 

[aesop081]

I'm going to join regardless,

Problem solved.

 

[apache2001]

Maybe you guys can give me some ideas here.  I told my family that I had done my CFAT and would be moving on with the process and should I be offered a job, I'd take it. My father said nothing, he's more of a "let's wait and see how this plays out" type of guy, my sister was on my side, my fiancee knew from the get-go and supported my choice to join the military, my mother on the other hand, starts laying guilt trips on me, telling me people in the military are uneducated, the government will always deploy the most inexperienced ones because they want them to be killed, why don't I find an office job which is much safer, etc (I'm sre you guys have heard your share as well). My argument with my mom went as follows: Why do you have to be so negative? Why would the government WANT to get their troops killed, why do you think I WILL die, this isn't PANAMA where the cops (Panama doesn't have a military, it's a national police and they look like military) are uneducated and corrupt, "and then you wonder why I never tell you anything, you'll always try and bring me down", Then when she kept throwing me her arguments again, which I've heard a million times over, I say "You know, what, you're absolutely right, I'm not going to bother arguing with you anymore, you're right, that's it!" "so you're not joining?" "I most certainly am! I'm not going to live my life regretting not going through with MY choice in life."

I don't know what else to do here. I'm going to join regardless, but it would be nice to have my family's entire approval and support here. I know my dad would be behind me if I get in, as would my sister, my mom I know will continue with her guilt trips of bad health, nightmares, etc... How did some of you guys make your family members who didn't support you, finally support you?I don't want to get this job and leave for BMQ on bad terms with my mother. I'm thinking of sending her to a shrink or something, she relies to much on us (sister and I).

Right now you may not be able to please everyone in your family but I believe down the line they will be proud of you.  It is now up to you.  Prove them you made the right choice in joining the CF.  It will be an added bonus for you to always do your best. 

 

[dwalter]

At least you have your sister and fiance on your side. It would be even harder if your whole family was against it. Your mother's reaction is a natural one, my mom wasn't thrilled about my deciding to join either, but as the process went on, she got more used to it. Now she thinks it is a good thing for me! Maybe all you have to do is just give your mom some time to think, she might come around without any intervention on your part.

 

[rustysoap]

Had a little heart to heart with her today about the matter after picking her up from work. She said she can't support my joining the military, to which I said "I understand your concerns, they're a mother's concerns, but I just ask that you support that I'd be doing something I want to do, and something that would make me happy." She said she has no other choice because I'm her son and I'd be joining regardless, so I said to her that I don't want her to feel that she HAS to support my decision because of that, but rather that she would WANT to support my decision because it's something I want to do and something I believe in. So she agreed on that point, and said she'd try to be more open-minded about the military and understand why I want to join. She may not be completely on the support wagon, but she's getting there. Hopefully like Intelligent Design said, she'll come around.


*EDIT* By the way, I called CFRC today to book my medical, and got it booked for September 3rd @ 1pm, and my interview is booked for October 1st @ 1pm. Now, I was always under the impression that you had to pass one to get the other, was I wrong in making this assumption? I've read other people's stories where they had everything done in one day. I was expecting my application to take a few months from the date of my CFAT. I'm pretty excited that I can get it all done in pretty much one month. Before I know it September will be done and I'll have my interview. Hopefully the background/security check goes without problems. That brings me to my next question/concern...

I lived in Miami, FL for a little under a year (11 months) in 2000. When I did my application, the recruiter said that because I was out of the country for more than 6 months, that it COULD take up to two years to complete the security check, but on the form that asked where I was and for how long, it had a list of exempted countries (ie. commonwealth countries, USA, etc...), but he told me to fill it out anyways, even though the US was exempt. Would that be something that could delay my security check? I lived there from March 2000-February 2001, I was 15/16 and moved there because my parents moved their business there. I had no run-ins with the police, no problems at school, no job or anything. The only thing that would have my name is being enrolled in school, and if they share this info, a few requests for info into the US Army. US Army recruiters actually showed up at my door a week after coming back to Canada.

 

[Celticgirl]

Rusty, I had my medical and interview all in the same morning, so clearly it's not a matter of passing one to get the other. Furthermore, I believe the medical info has to go through a screening process in Borden, so the med tech is just the 'worker bee' and not the one making the decision on whether you pass/fail. I don't know if the CFAT has any bearing on whether you get the interview, either. I had my CFAT the day before the interview, but I know of people who did them the same day.

 

[rustysoap]

thanks for the response. Now, does anyone know if my 1 yr living in the states would have an impact on how quick the security check gets done? Like I said, I was 15/16 at the time, enrolled in high school, and that was it. No job, no run-ins with the law, just school and sports...

 

[kincanucks]

thanks for the response. Now, does anyone know if my 1 yr living in the states would have an impact on how quick the security check gets done? Like I said, I was 15/16 at the time, enrolled in high school, and that was it. No job, no run-ins with the law, just school and sports...

Ask your CFRC/D.

 

[Kat Stevens]

Ask your CFRC/D.

BEEEEEP...this is a recording....BEEEEEP...

 

[rustysoap]

i DID ask...below is the "transcript" of the conversation
Me: "The recruiter that was doing my paperwork last year had me fill out a form for being out of the country for 150 some odd days, but that was in the US, and I noticed that the US was on the list of exempted countries, BUT, I had gone to Panama for 4 months earlier this year, would either of those be an issue?"
Recruiter: "What were you doing in Panama?"
Me: "Visiting family I hadn't seen in 14 years"
Recruiter: "As long as you weren't there for 185 days, that's fine...just don't mention it again"

but I was left unclear about if being in the US would be an issue as I was there for 11 months... I didn't want to ask or call again as he said "Don't mention it again"  ???

Sorry if I'm annoying some of you with these questions, I understand that asking the CFRC/D is always the best course of action for accurate answers, I just don't want to bring it up to him again if he said not to mention it again.

 

[BC Old Guy]

Often the Recruiters will get all the info they can on an initial contact, so that when the decisions are made as to who to bring in and when, then the info is available so that if additional steps need to be taken, those steps can be taken at that time. 

From what you've posted on your age and time in the US, there should be little or no delay.  If there is a requirement for additional information, you would be informed when they review your file for your interview.

 

[rustysoap]

Often the Recruiters will get all the info they can on an initial contact, so that when the decisions are made as to who to bring in and when, then the info is available so that if additional steps need to be taken, those steps can be taken at that time. 

From what you've posted on your age and time in the US, there should be little or no delay.  If there is a requirement for additional information, you would be informed when they review your file for your interview.

Very much appreciated, you answered my question/concern enough to put my mind at ease about it. THANK YOU for the informative answer.

 

[grmpz1]

i remember when i was younger i was kinda irresponsible and lazy and all that stuff my mother used to be like u need to join the army so u can get some discipline in your life  and now that i am interested in joining she's all worried and all hahah fun times  :cheers:

 

[aesop081]

my mother used to be like u need to join the army so u can get some discipline in your life 

I am quite certain your mother said "you"

 

[grmpz1]

haha you know I was trying to be as grammatically correct as possible but I guess I missed that one.

 

[dwalter]

i DID ask...below is the "transcript" of the conversation
Me: "The recruiter that was doing my paperwork last year had me fill out a form for being out of the country for 150 some odd days, but that was in the US, and I noticed that the US was on the list of exempted countries, BUT, I had gone to Panama for 4 months earlier this year, would either of those be an issue?"
Recruiter: "What were you doing in Panama?"
Me: "Visiting family I hadn't seen in 14 years"
Recruiter: "As long as you weren't there for 185 days, that's fine...just don't mention it again"

but I was left unclear about if being in the US would be an issue as I was there for 11 months... I didn't want to ask or call again as he said "Don't mention it again"  ???

Sorry if I'm annoying some of you with these questions, I understand that asking the CFRC/D is always the best course of action for accurate answers, I just don't want to bring it up to him again if he said not to mention it again.

The security clearance form wants you to list your whereabouts for the last 10 years so they can make the call on it. Just because the country is exempt doesn't mean not to include it. They still want to be able to draw a picture of where you have been in the last few years. It shouldn't however slow the process down much. The people who run into trouble are people who have spent a good deal of time in a country not on list of exemptions, and where said country is not in good diplomatic standing with Canada (ie won't share their records). In some people's cases that can hold up an application to the military indefinitely.

 

[George Wallace]

The security clearance form wants you to list your whereabouts for the last 10 years so they can make the call on it. Just because the country is exempt doesn't mean not to include it. They still want to be able to draw a picture of where you have been in the last few years. It shouldn't however slow the process down much. The people who run into trouble are people who have spent a good deal of time in a country not on list of exemptions, and where said country is not in good diplomatic standing with Canada (ie won't share their records). In some people's cases that can hold up an application to the military indefinitely.

Just to clarify that a bit.  You must fill in the information, without any gaps in time.  If you lived in location A from Aug 1, 1999 to Feb 20, 2005 and moved to location B, the next date must be Feb 21, 2005.  If there are any gaps in time, then your Clearance is not processed.

 

[rustysoap]

Just to clarify that a bit.  You must fill in the information, without any gaps in time.  If you lived in location A from Aug 1, 1999 to Feb 20, 2005 and moved to location B, the next date must be Feb 21, 2005.  If there are any gaps in time, then your Clearance is not processed.

Thanks for the info, I didn't leave any gaps in terms of time, all addresses are accurate from street number, name, city, province/state, country, postal/zip code. Hopefully my security check goes without a hitch. I've never been in trouble with the law before, nor has any member of my family. It's easy to keep track of them because it's only myself, mom, sister, dad, dad's girlfriend and my half brother who's 2yrs old. I doubt my fiancee's family will be examined under a microscope, her immediate family has never been in any trouble of any sort. My credit history is decent, nothing to brag about, but nothing to worry about either. Feeling good about the whole thing. I'm anxious to get the process done so I can start my career and my life.

 

[kincanucks]

I doubt my fiancee's family will be examined under a microscope, her immediate family has never been in any trouble of any sort.

I don't think you have to include your fiance's information but it has been a while since I have seen the form.