Time Away

[liams mom]

There is no guarantees that you will get To live together for your entire career. Here is one scenario-: you get sent to another base for 6 months of training. She can't join you because she likes her job and besides you can't afford the hotel and the loss of her job.

Another scenario: you get posted and your 15 year old kid freaks.  He refuses to move. Your wife stays at your old home and you proceed to your new job without her.

scenario 3: your mom moves into and old age home to be near you. You get posted. You decide to go to the new posting but leave your wife behind to care for your mom.

Scenario four: six months of training followed by eight months in Afghanistan.

Scenario five: a year long language course in Quebec. Family can visit but doesnt want to move.  Scenario six: 10 month course, army won't pay to move your family.

 

[hagan_91]

I only plan for a 10 year career, alot less if I cant make SF. The time away isnt a factor it just I want to be fully prepared and ready so nothings unexpected. I want to be a cop after my career. Also to any men married here or has a gf what is your experience on this matter , and to the point where you need to live in barracks at the beginning, can anyone follow up on that?

Thanks

 

[jeffb]

1) The are no guarantees and every unit handles things differently. No one can tell you here how long you will be in training (hence not living with your GF) and what your future Chain of Command will say about you living in barracks or moving out on your own.
2) You will be away from home quite extensively. Last year my wife and I spent 3 months together and I was not on "operational tour" as you put it but this year it looks like I'm going to be home for pretty much the whole year. That being said, I could get told tomorrow that I'm going away for 6 months. I know people that have been sent on a 3 month course with 2 hours notice. It's not the norm but it happens.
3) This life is substantially harder on our families then it is on us. When we go somewhere it is usually to do something and we are surrounded by our friends. Our spouses get left behind to do the unglamorous stuff. When we come back people put medals on our chest and tell us were awesome. No one gives your spouse a medal for taking care of the everything else while you are away.  It takes a very special person to put up with the life of being a military spouse and many aren't cut out for it.
4) All of us know people who because of my last point have been placed in a position where they had to choose their family or the military. Some chose the military and some chose their family and got out. Either way, it isn't pretty. Save yourself a lot of heartache and make sure you and your GF are properly prepared for the challenges that are going to come your way.
5) As to your comment about getting out unless you "make SF", nothing wrong with having a goal. You have many things that you have to go through before you worry about this though and as you'll see from reading the posts around here, even if you dropped off your application today it could be YEARS before you are trade qualified and posted to a Btn.

Best of luck.

 

[hagan_91]

Maybe im better off going to uni first.

 

[Pusser]

Let me try an sum some of this up.  The simplest answer to your question is, it depends.  However:

1)  Will you be away from home (i.e. wife, kids, girlfriend, etc)?  Yes.  Sometimes a lot.  Sometimes, not so much.  It will likely be much more intense with much more uncertainty in the initial phases of your career.  Once you are through basic training and initial trades training, life gets more stable.  Don't count on going home to visit your girlfriend during basic training.

2)  Can you life a "normal" life?  Without getting into what constitutes a "normal" life, again the answer is for the most part, yes.  There are an awful lot of CF members who have spouses, 2.4 kids, a dog, a cat, and a mortgage and are active in their communities (e.g. minor hockey coaches, scout leaders, SPCA volunteers, etc.).

3)  Will your life be disrupted from time to time.  Again, yes.  You will be sent on courses, deployments and/or other tasks from time to time (don't think that just because the combat mission in Afghanistan is over that the CF won't be doing anything for awhile).  This will mean being away from home and leaving all domestic responsibilities to your spouse; however, with cell phones, internet (Skype), on-line banking and a host of other tools in the box nowadays, this is much easier than it used to be.

4)  How much time will you spend away from home?  This very much depends on what you end up doing and to what units you are posted, but most of us spend much more time at home than we do deployed or tasked elsewhere (although sometimes it doesn't seem that way).

5)  Is it worth it?  A lot of us seem to think so.  I know my family has seen and done more cool things because I'm in the Navy, than they would have had I been a bank manager.  Besides, being separated from the family can do good things for relationships - makes you appreciate each other all the more. 

 

[RDY2SRV12]

Pusser, in the Navy would you say that one spends more time away than other branches? How long are typical cruises?

 

[Bruce Monkhouse]

Maybe im better off going to uni first.

Alright, I'll be the one to say it,.....................listen up Sunshine, if you think making life altering decisions based on a "girlfriend" is the way to run your life, then you have a lot more issues than we can help you with here.

Good luck.
Bruce

 

[Bzzliteyr]

Alright, I'll be the one to say it,.....................listen up Sunshine, if you think making life altering decisions based on a "girlfriend" is the way to run your life, then you have a lot more issues than we can help you with here.

Good luck.
Bruce

That point, right there.  I have soldiers who have gone through multiple girlfriends in a year.  In fact, I had to counsel one last night cause he got dumped by the gf he moved 45 minutes away from base to start dating... in February. 

Join the military for YOU, not for anyone else.  If leaving after 10 years is your plan then why not invest in an education (university as you said) and skills that will allow you to attain your dream of being a police officer?  You may find however that once you join the military you'll be happy and never want to leave.

Like Bruce said, please do NOT base life decisions on a gf.

 

[GAP]

Maybe im better off going to uni first.

That is probably wise. You have a fractured view of what you want, and how to achieve it. Those years will be better spent maturing.

 

[dimsum]

That is probably wise. You have a fractured view of what you want, and how to achieve it. Those years will be better spent maturing.

I don't know about you guys, but my 4 years in uni wouldn't be described as "maturing".  Maybe in knowledge of how many drinks I can shoot before going to an exam, perhaps 

But I agree.  Going to uni is never a bad thing if it's a viable and practical option (I'll reserve my opinions on Bachelor of Basket-weaving at this point...)

 

[seawolf]

Maybe do both??

Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?

 

[PMedMoe]

Maybe do both??

Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?

Only if his girlfriend can move in with him.......   

 

[dimsum]

Maybe do both??

Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?

Or alternatively, if you're not 100% sold on the full-time lifestyle, go to uni and join a reserve unit in/near your home or school.  Best of all worlds and gives you a taste of the military.  Just be prepared that if you do decide to switch to Reg Force, it may take some time for the admin to go through.

 

[Journeyman]

Maybe do both??

Apply as ROTP? - get your education and a career in the military as an officer?

Seriously? The guy can't sort out his own life, and you want him to supervise and lead others??

 

[seawolf]

Seriously? The guy can't sort out his own life, and you want him to supervise and lead others??

People change and mature with time. I assume you had everything figured out at 17?

 

[Journeyman]

People change and mature with time. I assume you had everything figured out at 17?

Enough to know that if I couldn't grip my own life, I shouldn't be contemplating organizing others.

In time, perhaps he'll get it together, become amazing within the SOF community, and maybe even still have the same girlfriend when he's decided that it's time to quit and become a cop. Perhaps.

Right at this point in time however, based solely upon his posts, suggesting that "because joining as a Pte is too problematic, so he should consider ROTP" is probably not the most brilliant advice proferred here.

 

[GAP]

Is that where those vacant looking Lt's come from......neat, one of life's questions answered......

 

[Bzzliteyr]

Is that where those vacant looking Lt's come from......neat, one of life's questions answered......

I will refrain from comments as I tend to get charged when dissing occifers...

 

[Pusser]

Pusser, in the Navy would you say that one spends more time away than other branches? How long are typical cruises?

I really can't comment as I don't have enough experience in the other environments upon which to make a comparison.  I can say that trips (we rarely use the word "cruise") can vary from one day to six months, but it all depends on what particular role your ship is filling at the moment.  As for actual time at sea (which is different from being at home), I've never done more than about 30 days between ports.

 

[hagan_91]

sorry unlike some of the guys on here I want a future and a family. Its not like I met her yesterday retards, I've been with her for 4 years pretty much, and I love her enough to not make her give up her goals and future so I can be happy. I can manage my own life thanks, you don't know me at all first off and if anything you sound like you get a joy out of palmala then your own wife.