Okay, so I have this very strange condition. More mental than anything. I have this odd fear of public washrooms. Now, I can use the washroom, but as long as it is empty. Even if I use the stall and someone comes in, I freeze up and stand there and feel like an idiot. All sorts of stupid crap goes through my head. I have done some research and it is a common condition called Paruresis. I have only ever met one other person with this. I was fine in high school, so it must have popped up in my late teens at some point.
This has a huge negative impact on my life as I have to plan everything around where I can take a piss in private. If there is a handicap/family single bathroom, I use it. Or I will go places that only have a single room bathroom. I'll even drive around to find a secluded area to take a piss in public. Lol.
I once flew to Edmonton from Toronto. I had to go so bad after the 2 hour drive to the airport. Waiting for almost 2 more hours inside the airport, and then holding it for a 4 hour flight until Edmonton. It was the worst. I couldn't even go on the plane. I knew Edmonton airport had a single washroom in the far end of the building, so all I could see was that bathroom in my mind the whole flight. Meanwhile I am pretty much in pain the entire time. Even at my current place of employment, we have a few washrooms. One that has a stall and a urinal and the other has like 3 stalls and 4 urinals. I use the smaller washroom, but if someone is in there, I will just make it like I am washing my hands or whatever and leave until nobody is in there.
These are just a few examples. This literally makes me feel like a weirdo. I don't know why I have this problem. I don't know if it is because maybe they can hear me piss, see my junk, or if I just like my privacy. Maybe I think to much? It has taken me like 8 years just to go in front of my spouse. I know that if I go to basic this is going to be a huge issue I need to overcome. I have considered not even joining because I know this is going to be a big issue. This is probably something I should talk to a Councillor or something about. But I don't have time for that, nor do I think it will even help.
Has anyone ever heard of anyone else with this problem? The more I think about it the more I want to just email the recruiter and cancel my application. My other option is to just not worry about it, and deal with it when the time comes. Eventually I will have to go. It will just be embarrassing at basic having to explain this stupid crap. Or I can just try not to care, but I know I will end up standing there for 5 minutes trying to work out a piss and look like an idiot. Even the urine test during enrollment is probably going to be hard for me.
I literally don't know what to do. I would hate for this to ruin my chances with the CF.