Afghanistan, is it worth it- Cheating Spouse Thread

[Anny]

This is so heartbreaking to hear, as my husband gets ready for his first tour and we are piecing together our already shaky relationship.  I have brought up the fact that he will have two lives- one with me and one without me.  It's already been a big concern that he will cheat while away and reading things like this just puts that nauseating feeling back in my stomach.  But I guess that's reality.

I would think if you are having martial issues (by that I mean more serious issues, as everyone who is married has some maritial issues) would not the member dag red?  Maybe your hubby shouldn't go on tour and spend time repairing your marriage?  I'm not telling you what to do, just suggesting an option.

 

[ExquisitelyChic]

Military wives/gfs/partners should know even before they start a relationship that this job is tough, and you're going to go away for periods at a time. It isn't your fault at all, Patriot, she obviously doesn't deserve someone as good as you.

Some of us didn't get a choice in the matter. I'm not saying I'm going to cheat on my fiance. However, he joined three and a half years after we got together. So I'm doing my damndest to get through the bullshit of training so I can keep what's been so great the past 4 years now. It's hard, some days I desperately want to quit. That's the hardest part for me. I didn't choose the military, I chose him.

 

[MikeL]

So I'm doing my damndest to get through the bullshit of training

bullshit of training is a bit harsh

Also,  something to consider,  once your spouse is finished the initial training,  the training doesn't end there.  Depending on trade/unit he could be away on exercise anywhere from 1 week to 2 months.  Also there will be other courses to attend some may be in the area,  others could involve having to go to another base.  Just something to prepare yourself for.

 

[aesop081]

Some of us didn't get a choice in the matter.

Please. You had a choice.

So I'm doing my damndest to get through the bullshit of training

After that will be the "bullshit" of more training, more training and more training. The "bullshit" of exercises, other courses and multiple times away. Followed by the "bullshit" of deployment after deployment........

I didn't choose the military, I chose him.

So when he came home on day and said "honey i think i want to join the military" you said "frig no you're not !" ? Or did you say "honey if that's what you want to do, i support you" ?

:

 

[armyvern]

Bang on Aviator.

I get so sick of the bullshit about "training causes infidelity" posts. 100% bullshit.

Fact is, for every deployed soldier who fucks around on his/her significant other while deployed, training or on course ...

Judging by my experience in Petawawa while Units were in the field and their wives/girlfriends were trolling the local dive-bars, there's an equal number of significant others who are fucking around on their deployed, training or on course soldier.

If people are going to fuck around, they will. Period. It doesn't matter who they are, where they are, or what manner of employment they happen to have.

 

[Popurhedoff]

The better part of my first 20 years in the Military I was so saint, no excuses, I was the problem and the marriage ended, and my career was in limbo.  Later I met someone who picked me out of the gutter and cleaned me up, She gave me all the reasons to want and be good.  My career started to accell again and to this day I am a changed man. I love my Wife, she knows what I was, I held no secrets back. She is a trooper, held down the homestead while I was deployed and again now that I work over here again.  We always have a choice and it is within us to make the right decisions.  I am a changed man, healthly, happy and very committed to making this last for a lifetime.

But you have to commit, no lapses in judgement, no excuses period.  Now we are the happiest couple, her and I against the world and not a single regret.

Cheers
Pop

 

[2 Cdo]

But you have to commit, no lapses in judgement, no excuses period.  Now we are the happiest couple, her and I against the world and not a single regret.

Cheers
Pop

Excellent advice. 20+ years with my wife with numerous deployments and not a hint of infidelity by either of us. Marriage isn't easy, especially in the Forces, and it does take hard work to make it successful by both partners. Those not willing to work hard at it are doomed to failure.