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- 110
Haven't you seen one of those meat tenderizing hammers. A little preparation goes a long way. ;D
It still sounds crule and unusaul but oh so tasty....
It still sounds crule and unusaul but oh so tasty....
Any favourite BMQ memories?
- Thread starter a_future_clerk
- Start date
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- 410
Having taught survival training as part of Winter Indoc, including snaring rabbits and killing. Plucking chickens brought out of the purpose, with both Reservists and affiliated Cadet Corps members present in, I agree it does sound both cruel and pointless. Even moreso when done for just young cadets. This kind of misplaced pseudo macho crap is not called for, but it seems still exists.
Now about these tabbed Special Forces bunnies mentioned a couple of posts past. Can anybody provide more details about this unit without violating OPSEC. 8)
Now about these tabbed Special Forces bunnies mentioned a couple of posts past. Can anybody provide more details about this unit without violating OPSEC. 8)
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
I always thought those hammers were for meat that has been properly cut and dressed? I dont think it would be a good idea to "tenderize" it with all the internals and bones still inside ???Samsquanch said:
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 110
The worst incident I've seen was the killing of a kangaroo with an axe, but that was because it had been hit by an M113. Making a kid who clearly didn't want to, and cried as a result, beat a bunny to death? Hmmmm...that's got lawsuit written all over it. And the crap about crawling around on the floor? Bastardisation has been largely gotten rid of here, but it seems that there are still a few around capable of it. The sooner they realise that it isn't the 1950s and bullying kids is a really good way to prevent them ever joining up full time, the better. If this means those who won't change their ways, leaving the army, then so be it.
D
Deleted member 9665
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I have a few good ones...
1- We are in our first week in our Pres before inspection, a kid just fall into hyperventilation... our Mclp is trying to put some sense into the kid and the guy in front tells the Mclp that he should not speak to him that way. I have never seen some one move so fast the Mcpl was so pissed off. I was so funny.
2- the same kid, one evening our section commander yells gas, gas gas, so we put our gas mask, and the same kid starts to have breathing trouble....the same Mclp pass and takes off the kids mask...he answers really loudly thanks general...god it was hilarious to see both of their faces.
3- On morning inspection (again) our section commander ask who did not take a shower... one kid (not the same) yells I did not have time to Sargent. The Sargent look at him...you &?%CI$# pig this is discusting. you have about 7 minutes to take a shower. The kid just ran off to the shower and came back all wet...he did not take off his combat gear. All day he was miserable..from having all of his kit wet.
I could go on but ill save some for later.
1- We are in our first week in our Pres before inspection, a kid just fall into hyperventilation... our Mclp is trying to put some sense into the kid and the guy in front tells the Mclp that he should not speak to him that way. I have never seen some one move so fast the Mcpl was so pissed off. I was so funny.
2- the same kid, one evening our section commander yells gas, gas gas, so we put our gas mask, and the same kid starts to have breathing trouble....the same Mclp pass and takes off the kids mask...he answers really loudly thanks general...god it was hilarious to see both of their faces.
3- On morning inspection (again) our section commander ask who did not take a shower... one kid (not the same) yells I did not have time to Sargent. The Sargent look at him...you &?%CI$# pig this is discusting. you have about 7 minutes to take a shower. The kid just ran off to the shower and came back all wet...he did not take off his combat gear. All day he was miserable..from having all of his kit wet.
I could go on but ill save some for later.
This one happened in my SQ a couple of days ago (Camp Vimy).
We were having vaccinations done that day. Apart from the look on people faces the third time they get poked (and the one scrawny-looking teenager passing out), nothing else was really interesting or even slightly amusing. However, that all changed very fast and very suddenly.
Following the vaccinations, we were told to get 15 minutes of rest. So we were about 6 guys sitting on the benches aligned to the interior circumference of the tent. There was ALSO our MCpl waiting there; sitting off to the side a bit. Another guy from our platoon comes in (who I'll refer to as Bloggins from this point on) and sits down to the immediate left of the MCpl. Apparently, he didn't notice the instructor. And then it begins.
Bloggins starts to rant on about the vaccinations. Comments on how unfair it was that they only administered them a week into the course, when nobody would really say "no" and get thrown off. Well, he was being fairly "vocal" about it. We assumed he knew the MCpl was there and would refrain from going too far. And that's when it happened. He suddenly changed topic and started bashing the MCpl (who was sitting at arms-width apart from the private and who suddenly veered his head to the left). He was going all-out on how much he disliked the instructor. We, the stooges who could have prevented it, were roaring with laughter. After he was done, a minute had passed by and still he didn't see the MCpl who was now staring intensely at him. One of the guys thought it was enough and told Bloggins "eyes-right". He looked, and was frozen in shock. I think his heart must have stopped beating for a couple of seconds. That made it even funnier for us. Some guys were in tears and one fell off the bench laughing.
The entire platoon (most of which weren't present, or even knew what had happened) ate dirt late into the night. Of the things he made us do, the MCpl had us fitted in full combat and made to run 800m, wearing the gas mask on our run back. We all nearly passed out.
Yeah, it stopped being funny.
We were having vaccinations done that day. Apart from the look on people faces the third time they get poked (and the one scrawny-looking teenager passing out), nothing else was really interesting or even slightly amusing. However, that all changed very fast and very suddenly.
Following the vaccinations, we were told to get 15 minutes of rest. So we were about 6 guys sitting on the benches aligned to the interior circumference of the tent. There was ALSO our MCpl waiting there; sitting off to the side a bit. Another guy from our platoon comes in (who I'll refer to as Bloggins from this point on) and sits down to the immediate left of the MCpl. Apparently, he didn't notice the instructor. And then it begins.
Bloggins starts to rant on about the vaccinations. Comments on how unfair it was that they only administered them a week into the course, when nobody would really say "no" and get thrown off. Well, he was being fairly "vocal" about it. We assumed he knew the MCpl was there and would refrain from going too far. And that's when it happened. He suddenly changed topic and started bashing the MCpl (who was sitting at arms-width apart from the private and who suddenly veered his head to the left). He was going all-out on how much he disliked the instructor. We, the stooges who could have prevented it, were roaring with laughter. After he was done, a minute had passed by and still he didn't see the MCpl who was now staring intensely at him. One of the guys thought it was enough and told Bloggins "eyes-right". He looked, and was frozen in shock. I think his heart must have stopped beating for a couple of seconds. That made it even funnier for us. Some guys were in tears and one fell off the bench laughing.
The entire platoon (most of which weren't present, or even knew what had happened) ate dirt late into the night. Of the things he made us do, the MCpl had us fitted in full combat and made to run 800m, wearing the gas mask on our run back. We all nearly passed out.
Yeah, it stopped being funny.
The vaccinations story made me remember this one:
140 OCdts from RMC PrepYear are at the Mega one snowy, but sunny and fairly warm winter day, at the MIR. It's vaccination day.
Apparently the last time we had been through the MIR, the table of individually wrapped gift boxes (AKA condoms in brown paper bags) went from full to empty in a matter of seconds. So this visit, the Nursing Officer seemed less than impressed with the idea of having to refill a bunch of paper bags just for the Officer Candidates from RMC who seemed to be having a lot of fun in the sack.
Result was my smug suggestion to simply give us the massive box of 1000 that the MIR received their orders in. Suprisingly, the suggestion from the Officer Candidate was accepted, and the box was provided to the Sgt escorting us that day, a crusty former CAR and current Vandoo.
Fast forward to forming up outside (140 of us young teens/20s that we are) in the snow, the Sgt for whatever reason puts the (white) box of 1000 condoms down on the ground behind him so that he can speak to us about something or other. Another member is leaving the MIR at the same time, and jumps into a GMC a little ways away in the parking lot. Apparently he's in a hurry, because he blasts passed our formed up group.
Sgt is about to exclaim some rightful nastiness as the truck drives right over the box of 1000 condoms and the box explodes, sending condoms everywhere behind a clearly angry Sgt and in front of 140 formed up OCdts.
Thankfully I wasn't the OCdt who had to go back in and find the nursing officer to ask for another box of 1000 only 10 minutes later
140 OCdts from RMC PrepYear are at the Mega one snowy, but sunny and fairly warm winter day, at the MIR. It's vaccination day.
Apparently the last time we had been through the MIR, the table of individually wrapped gift boxes (AKA condoms in brown paper bags) went from full to empty in a matter of seconds. So this visit, the Nursing Officer seemed less than impressed with the idea of having to refill a bunch of paper bags just for the Officer Candidates from RMC who seemed to be having a lot of fun in the sack.
Result was my smug suggestion to simply give us the massive box of 1000 that the MIR received their orders in. Suprisingly, the suggestion from the Officer Candidate was accepted, and the box was provided to the Sgt escorting us that day, a crusty former CAR and current Vandoo.
Fast forward to forming up outside (140 of us young teens/20s that we are) in the snow, the Sgt for whatever reason puts the (white) box of 1000 condoms down on the ground behind him so that he can speak to us about something or other. Another member is leaving the MIR at the same time, and jumps into a GMC a little ways away in the parking lot. Apparently he's in a hurry, because he blasts passed our formed up group.
Sgt is about to exclaim some rightful nastiness as the truck drives right over the box of 1000 condoms and the box explodes, sending condoms everywhere behind a clearly angry Sgt and in front of 140 formed up OCdts.
Thankfully I wasn't the OCdt who had to go back in and find the nursing officer to ask for another box of 1000 only 10 minutes later
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 210
This is not from BMQ but similar circumstances anyway...
It was another inspection morning for us on our QL3s... our Mbdr was very hard on us to have clean, clean, clean rifles. It would take nothing more than a milimetre of carbon to be caught in the fury of swearing and yelling. However, this specific morning... he came in as per usual... walked past by bunk... said.. "Usually I come in here and tear you guys apart... today though.. I'm just going to bust some ass" and he proceeded to relief himself of the loudest, most nauseating smell ever. It smelled so bad he just left the room without inspecting us at all... all of us did our best to not laugh.. but how could you not... we laughed solidly all day about it..
Cheers,
Patrick.
It was another inspection morning for us on our QL3s... our Mbdr was very hard on us to have clean, clean, clean rifles. It would take nothing more than a milimetre of carbon to be caught in the fury of swearing and yelling. However, this specific morning... he came in as per usual... walked past by bunk... said.. "Usually I come in here and tear you guys apart... today though.. I'm just going to bust some ass" and he proceeded to relief himself of the loudest, most nauseating smell ever. It smelled so bad he just left the room without inspecting us at all... all of us did our best to not laugh.. but how could you not... we laughed solidly all day about it..
Cheers,
Patrick.
- Reaction score
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- Points
- 210
Lots of good bmq memories
VERY FUNNY ONES
1. Having your helmet fall on the floor and the 2IC thinking it was your rifle, then having to do pushups.
2. Having one guy say sorry for sweating to a Master CPL
3. One guy got a nose bleed and he had to white it during drill and it looked like he was picking his nose so the cpl went "HEY YOU STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE".
VERY FUNNY ONES
1. Having your helmet fall on the floor and the 2IC thinking it was your rifle, then having to do pushups.
2. Having one guy say sorry for sweating to a Master CPL
3. One guy got a nose bleed and he had to white it during drill and it looked like he was picking his nose so the cpl went "HEY YOU STOP PICKING YOUR NOSE".
- Reaction score
- 213
- Points
- 880
BMQ- Frequent inquiries about my sex life
SQ- Frequent inquires as to why my sex life was as dull as it was on BMQ
SQ- Frequent inquires as to why my sex life was as dull as it was on BMQ
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
It wasn't called BMQ in 1968, or was it. Too far back to remember.
During morning inspection, the Troop Sgt. was examining my razor.
He asked me if I had used it, "No, Sgt." says I.
"Why not". says the Sgt.
"I don't need to shave", says me.
The Sgt. did a very close inspection of my face.
Having found no facial hair, the Sgt. stood back.
" You want to be a soldier" says he.
'Yes, Sgt" says I.
"The Army needs men and real men shave" says he.
"Are you a man" he asked.
"Yes, Sgt", says I
"Then I want you shaved by the time Morning Inspection is over.
As I started to gather my shaving kit, the Sgt. stopped me and instructed me to dry shave at my locker mirror.
When the Sgt. completed Morning Inspection and returned to my room.
There I stood at Attention with nicks and cuts everywhere.
The Sgt. congratulated me on becoming a man and then wrote me up for " self inflicted wounds"
I was cleaning garbage cans all the following weekend.
That was just one of many that could be told.
During morning inspection, the Troop Sgt. was examining my razor.
He asked me if I had used it, "No, Sgt." says I.
"Why not". says the Sgt.
"I don't need to shave", says me.
The Sgt. did a very close inspection of my face.
Having found no facial hair, the Sgt. stood back.
" You want to be a soldier" says he.
'Yes, Sgt" says I.
"The Army needs men and real men shave" says he.
"Are you a man" he asked.
"Yes, Sgt", says I
"Then I want you shaved by the time Morning Inspection is over.
As I started to gather my shaving kit, the Sgt. stopped me and instructed me to dry shave at my locker mirror.
When the Sgt. completed Morning Inspection and returned to my room.
There I stood at Attention with nicks and cuts everywhere.
The Sgt. congratulated me on becoming a man and then wrote me up for " self inflicted wounds"
I was cleaning garbage cans all the following weekend.
That was just one of many that could be told.
BDTyre
Sr. Member
- Reaction score
- 4
- Points
- 230
This one is BIQ, but has to be told....
While marching back from lunch, marching NCO - a Sgt- spots a clueless Pte walking in the other direction.
"You got a chit that says you can't march?"
"Yes, Master Corporal."
"Master Corporal!? Holy f--k, you're retarded!"
Same marching NCO:
"Get those bends out of the elbows troops, and I'm not f---ing talking to the troops I'm marching!!"
On the way to any given meal:
"Yeah, you better hurry. My course might beat you! Hope the (meal) is worth it!"
"Okay course, I'm not going to dismiss you yet. I want this guy to get a little closer and when I dismiss you, all of you get in front of him."
Same NCO, during a Nav lecture:
"I'm a map, I'm a map."
"And you are at X. And X marks what? The spot! Arrrrr!!!"
Vandoo instructor:
"F--k man, you strong."
"And I warn you, I speak English like a shovel."
"You have to give good hand sign, because tonight we have moon, but some nights, it is dark like the inside of a monkey's a--hole." (Even the other instructors had to make fun of this one.)
While marching back from lunch, marching NCO - a Sgt- spots a clueless Pte walking in the other direction.
"You got a chit that says you can't march?"
"Yes, Master Corporal."
"Master Corporal!? Holy f--k, you're retarded!"
Same marching NCO:
"Get those bends out of the elbows troops, and I'm not f---ing talking to the troops I'm marching!!"
On the way to any given meal:
"Yeah, you better hurry. My course might beat you! Hope the (meal) is worth it!"
"Okay course, I'm not going to dismiss you yet. I want this guy to get a little closer and when I dismiss you, all of you get in front of him."
Same NCO, during a Nav lecture:
"I'm a map, I'm a map."
"And you are at X. And X marks what? The spot! Arrrrr!!!"
Vandoo instructor:
"F--k man, you strong."
"And I warn you, I speak English like a shovel."
"You have to give good hand sign, because tonight we have moon, but some nights, it is dark like the inside of a monkey's a--hole." (Even the other instructors had to make fun of this one.)
- Reaction score
- 0
- Points
- 210
Let me set the scene...
Meaford, summer of 2000. I'm on my QL3 Infantry. I'm having a bit of a rough time adjusting and give one of our instructors a nick name. He was a huge gorilla of a man from 3 RCR Para Coy, fresh off his Pathfinder course so he's mad at the world. I call him "The Terminator" because, in my eyes, he was a robot sent from the future to kill me. Fast forward a couple of months....
Exercise Pro Pat 1, "defensive" ex... I say "defensive" because anyone who was on that course knows its actually a sleep deprivation ex with some digging involved. So, 3 sleepless nights of digging into it and along comes the Terminator to inspect my hole. He goes on with "Looking good, a little deeper and we can start to think about rivetting and blah blah blah (I was half asleep and still digging at this point) because I've been sent from the future to kill you."
"Yes, corporal!" is all I say as I toss a few more chunks of Meaford clay from my position. It hasn't hit me yet.
He goes on some more "Yup, and its gotta be so many rifle widths wide and this many long. Isn't that right, Sarah Connor?"
At this point I stop digging, and I feel my face start to heat up under my cam paint and bug juice. I slowly raise my head to see his gleaming toothy grin shining in the night. One of my course mates let the nick name slip! Well, he had a good laugh, and I'm sure the rest of the staff did as well. I think he was quite proud of his nick name.
Meaford, summer of 2000. I'm on my QL3 Infantry. I'm having a bit of a rough time adjusting and give one of our instructors a nick name. He was a huge gorilla of a man from 3 RCR Para Coy, fresh off his Pathfinder course so he's mad at the world. I call him "The Terminator" because, in my eyes, he was a robot sent from the future to kill me. Fast forward a couple of months....
Exercise Pro Pat 1, "defensive" ex... I say "defensive" because anyone who was on that course knows its actually a sleep deprivation ex with some digging involved. So, 3 sleepless nights of digging into it and along comes the Terminator to inspect my hole. He goes on with "Looking good, a little deeper and we can start to think about rivetting and blah blah blah (I was half asleep and still digging at this point) because I've been sent from the future to kill you."
"Yes, corporal!" is all I say as I toss a few more chunks of Meaford clay from my position. It hasn't hit me yet.
He goes on some more "Yup, and its gotta be so many rifle widths wide and this many long. Isn't that right, Sarah Connor?"
At this point I stop digging, and I feel my face start to heat up under my cam paint and bug juice. I slowly raise my head to see his gleaming toothy grin shining in the night. One of my course mates let the nick name slip! Well, he had a good laugh, and I'm sure the rest of the staff did as well. I think he was quite proud of his nick name.
