You are not entitled to IR. You and your wife have made a conscious decision to sell your home and for her to move. The CF did not post you. The CF did not cause you to make this decision. You are responsible for your own actions here, and not entitled to any compensation.
Another point that you will now like to cover, would be your entitlements in eight years, when you do retire. As you will no longer have a home to sell, and the current move by your wife is not covered, you will not be compensated for any fees involved in the sale and purchase of a home on your retirement. You will likely only be compensated for your transportation and movement of a few hundred pounds of personal luggage, to your final place of residence on leaving the CF.
If your wife moves now, you will be held holding all the costs of her move, not be entitled to IR, and have very few entitlements on Release.
It is a Loose, loose, loose situation.