geo said:CG... as I pointed out, the soldier is no different to a sales rep, trucker or whoever else lives outa a suitcase.
People don't look down on them - do they ??? Soldiers & their chain of command have done trmendous work to look after the family while you are away on course, TD OR deployed.
Your kids will grow up, they will live in a stable environment.
Celticgirl said:I don't think you understood the main point of my thread. I have accepted that this is the way it is going to be, and I am far from making any excuses. I'm committed to my new career and everything that comes with it. I just want to know how others deal with intrusive negative comments about leaving their children for long periods of time.
George Wallace said:I'm not saying that you are making excuses. I am saying that there are no excuses for what is happening to members of the CF. It is not something new, and many have gone through the same as you, over the last sixty years. Many on this site are children of Service members who have been away for long periods. They have not seen much, if anything, in the way of discrimination because of it.
You have a perceived view that really is quite trivial and not worth your putting any serious worries or doubts on it. You will do just fine, and you will have many friends and acquaintances to support you during those periods. As I said, times have changed and members of the CF have many support networks today, that were nonexistent fifteen years ago.
George Wallace said:Canada's society is very mobile and has changed a lot from the 1950's/60's. Today's families for the most part consist of two "Bread Winners". There are very few 'stay at home' moms or dads. The CF, as was pointed out, is not the only occupations where you are going to see this happening. The CF, however, has set up some support networks for military families, to help them cope with these separations.
abo said:My 0.02$
Living with her other parents/grandparents your daughter will have a nice change of environment. It will be a chance for her to pick up some more life experience independent of what you've already undoubtedly provided. It might be tough for her but beneficial overall.
In the future after you've returned from training/postings you can impart your newly learned life experiences to her. She stands to benefit doubly from you leaving.
"Abandoned" I think is an overly harsh term, especially considering she will no doubt have all the necessities and comforts in her new home. Big deal if you are not around to dote over her.
Eye In The Sky said:What counts the most is how your daughter feels about it, that she understands why you are leaving, how long it will be for, and that you WILL see her when you can and hey, with cell phones you can talk to her pretty much every night, even if only for a few minutes.
What the rest of the Peanut Gallery says and thinks is so far away from being important compared to that, they aren't even a friggin' blip on the radar. NFI - Not F**kin' Important
TangoHotel said:Abandoned may be a harsh term, but really, when you are away from your loved ones for week upon week upon week upon month at a time...there will be many nights where you will feel like you've abandoned your loved ones. You will question why you are laying on some crappy DND mattress when all you want to be is home in your own bed.
If I were being sent on a 6 month ROTO to Afghanistan, I would have to do up to 6 months of pre deployment training before I even leave for the desert. Thats a year away from home!! I honestly don't know if my family could handle that much time apart???
I don't want to be too negative........and of course all of us with families are doing what we do to help support them, and make life better for them. It's definately a sacrifice. For you and your loved ones. Things to think about I guess?
geo said:Umm...
I hate to say it but, while kids are most often able to bounce back and go with the flow, things turn bad when people tell them how they should be reacting to things...
Teacher tells em that they must be upset cause their dad/mom is away fighting a way.... kid gets confused and, possibly upset - created "fait acompli"
CDN Aviator said:CC, the people telling you this stuff, dont deserve your time. You will be around plenty of people who live the same life as you ,who will understand. Most of those people have fantastic families. Heck, i grew up a military brat and didnt see my dad alot. It was almost a badge of honour amongst kids how we managed.
ENGINEERS WIFE said:Not too sugarcoat it, it will be hard, but, you will both overcome and come out stronger in the end.
That is what love is all about!
You go girl!!! ;D
geo said:Umm...
I hate to say it but, while kids are most often able to bounce back and go with the flow, things turn bad when people tell them how they should be reacting to things...
Teacher tells em that they must be upset cause their dad/mom is away fighting a way.... kid gets confused and, possibly upset - created "fait acompli"
leroi said:Hi Celticgirl,
Though not a member of the CF, as a single mother, I successfully raised two children (my daughter is now 27 and my son is 21) and was sometimes criticized for not being able to spend as much time with them as I would have liked--I was holding down two jobs while attending university full-time. My children learned some valuable lessons; it taught the family to pull together and work through adversity. I want to share my motto with you; it helped me through some tough times--courtesy of Dr. Seuss:
Be who you are and say what you feel
because those who mind don't matter
and those who matter don't mind.
Best of luck to you Celticgirl!
Celticgirl said:I'm not fighting any wars this coming year, so the only thing that she could be upset about is me not being here full-time. She knows I will be safe because I've told her that. No one had better tell her otherwise!