Matters of the Heart - Tearing me Apart!

[JBP]

So honestly you folks think after she gets the flowers maybe (Frackin' flower shop didn't deliver them today) that I should pour my heart out to her? ... *GULP*...

I suppose I've got nothing to loose doing that right? If it doesn't work out, I'll simply be at square 1 again, and be on my way into my career anyway? ... And in emotional desolation!

I thought it would be best to chase her like I've never chased anyone before, give it all I've got, I do care that much. And I'm not one to chase, but I think it's worth it this time. And I've heard stories of guys who were persistent, VERY persistent and it's paid off before... I've never been like that, but I'll do anything to melt her heart at this point!

Anyway...

Thanks again folks!

PS> Brihard - my mother did 1 thing right when she raised me, taught me how to treat and respect a lady, that much I can do at least! I can just about romance a stone, but this shall be the most difficult one yet!

 

[Pea]

Yes, pour your heart out to her just like you have on this open forum. If you are able to share this with all of us strangers, then you need to tell her too! Tell her how you feel for her, how you feel about your career aspirations, and then explain your fears too. You honestly have nothing to lose, and a whole lot to gain by being honest like this.

If she cares for you even half of how much you seem to care for her, then I think it will go quite well. If I was the gal, and  you said/did all that for me, I'd follow you anywhere. I wish more men were open & honest like you are. Best of luck to you!

P.S. No need to even wait for the flowers. They are nice and all, but some words from the heart are a million times better.

 

[CdnArtyWife]

Librarian had a great idea.

Print the thread off and let her read what you wrote...you poured your heart out to us about her...and we can see the sincerity in your words. She will too. But by printing the thread, she'd get a bit of an idea what a family the CF is. How we embrace eachother and teach eachother. That can go a long way for someone who doesn't understand the life.

I was fortunate enough that I grew up in a CF town...I knew what was involved...one of the reasons why I hated the thought of hubby joining...but after taking the time to really educate myself, I put myself behind his decision 100%.  He I put his application in the mail one week to the day after we were married. And since then, I could never imagine another career for him. He does what he loves, and loves what he does...and I love him that much more for it.

If you want, send her my way...I got a couple books I can send her to give her an idea of life as a spouse (Hurry Up and Wait, and My Love, My Life by Dianne Collier)

I really don't think you have anything to lose by telling her how you feel.

Best of luck,

CAW

 

[IN HOC SIGNO]

I'm so proud of all of you. I was expecting some to mock this poor heartsick fellow...well done all.

What can an old Padre add after so much sage advice from those who've been down the same road?
I'll tell you that I left for Basic (not as a Padre) thinking that the girl I was with was the love of my life and I'd marry her after Basic. She sent me a Dear John letter in week 6....THANKS PATTY!!

It hurt a lot but I kept going. The woman I met in Esquimalt on Phase 4 (Navy Nurse...God bless her) has now been my wife for 25 years this summer (what the heck am I going to get her...she never tells me!!)
Life didn't work out as I planned but rather, as I followed my heart, I found my heart's delight....sappy huh?
God bless Man...I hope all works out for you.
Padre IHS

 

[protected]

Love is wonderful and beautiful, it can also be confusing and heartbreaking, but one thing it should never be... is putting aside who you are, what your dreams and aspirations are, for the sake of making someone fall in love with you. You can only be true to someone, when you are true to yourself.

 

[tree hugger]

Keep in mind that she has a lot to digest - seeing you again after so long, just breaking up with her boyfriend and then finding out you intend on going full-time army.  Get to know her again!  You still have time before you go on course, let her learn and get excited too! 

I wouldn't put too much pressure on her right away to accept your decision... and I wouldn't back out of signing on the dotted line.

You don't need to solve this today.  Let things happen.

Disclaimer - Writer of above post - aka tree hugger is destined for spinsterhood. 

 

[JBP]

Thank you all again for your advice, it's done wonders and helped me out more than you know! Joining the CF even as a reservist, thus far, has been the best decision of my life, and again reinforced by you folks, it is like a big family! Always a buddy, or someone you can count on in some way or another...

I think things are going very, very well... On Wed she invited me out with her for a night on the town! I started driving up to her place around 7pm, she received those roses around 7:45pmish, I got to her place around 8pm... And was greeted with the biggest smile and hug I'd ever seen! Plus she made me dinner so I can't complain there hahaha! She really, really appreciated the roses... And I was almost NOT going to send them!!!

We went out that night to a local pub/bar, and... It was amazing... We danced the night, and all our worries away, kissing and laughing and just enjoying everything... I bought her a bit too much alcohol though I think  > and on the ride home she wasn't feeling so well...  OOopss!

On reflection, even if things don't work out between us, it's nights and memories and times like that I will remember forever, and at least we can have them together for now. But I honestly think, with a bit of time, we can make this work! I can hope anyway... The advice of not worrying or tackling it now, just seeing how it plays out, is exactly what we're doing really. I'm just going at her pace, she needs space, she'll have it, she needs a hug, I'm there. And she knows it, I made it clear I don't want to be a stress factor in her life and I just want us to have good times...

I want to thank you all again... Honestly, you've all been very helpful and I'll post again if anything comes up! That much for sure...

Here is a tiny clip of that night, and the happiness...

PS> I had 4hrs sleep the night before, went for a run that day, and then danced my ass off for the whole night! Yes, I look like I was drunk, but alas' this lad was sober as can be!

 

[geo]

Gawd.... she's cute & you aren't ... my condolences  (jk)
Take good care of her & she will take good care of you

 

[orange.paint]

Gawd.... she's cute & you aren't ... my condolences  (jk)
Take good care of her & she will take good care of you

Lol I was thinking it,you posted it.

Now Pte Joe:
Seem we all posted to help you,please explain how a homely guy like yourself picks up chicks such as her. ;D

Also you are really going to have to lay off the hippy grass...your eyes look like two pissholes in the snow.


Good catch BTW.

 

[xo31@711ret]

Well Bud, I'm not a sensitive type (just ask the wife), but I think you should let her read these posts, just to show her how (gawd this coming from an x-grunt, I think I'm gonna puke ! :-X ) caring you are. I think she would be thoroughly impressed with ya! (Gotta go and rinse my mouth out with beer!)

Really though, I think she would be impressed, maybe I'm wrong...any of our female soldiors agree or disagree?

-gerry

 

[GAP]

Nah....leave it lie....it's just going to open new cans of worms..

 

[armyvern]

Really though, I think she would be impressed, maybe I'm wrong...any of our female soldiors agree or disagree?

Some of us wimmin have chimed in and told him to show this to her. That's all I will say. Being a man, you have to figure out why we told him that all on your own!!  ;D

 

[armyvern]

Nah....leave it lie....it's just going to open new cans of worms..

Oh please. Gap, you are 'da man!! 

 

[GAP]

Every man should have the right of the last word

Yes Dear

 

[xo31@711ret]

Yes Dear....works for me  ;D (I think)

 

[armyvern]

Every man should have the right of the last word

Yes Dear

Thank you!!  >

 

[proudnurse]

Pte, I saw the photo of the two of you together and honestly, I think you guys are going to do just fine! You both look very  ;D

Rebecca

 

[JBP]

Nah....leave it lie....it's just going to open new cans of worms..

Well, I sort of went with this route of thinking, didn't show this to her in case she felt slightly violated or something (I highly doubt she would, maybe show it to her later...) but enstead I used Army.ca's venerable group of people and experience as a potent secret weapon in Cupid's trade to attack her with! Broke through her armour I believe hahaha...


;D

 

[mistyqueen]

As all the others have said If it was meant to be a for sure thing she will wait for you while you go through basic training etc...
Tell this girl that you have been waiting to this (be in the forces) but want to be with her will she wait for you?  If it meant to be she will wait no matter what.

There are some great support sites for spouses now on the web Pm me for links so if she is behind you 100 % she has a place to go to vent to others how she is missing you etc... How do we all cope, tours postings etc...

 

[JBP]

Well it's all said and done! I accepted an offer for Reg Force Sig Op starting March 31st in Kingston Ontario. They gave me a pretty sweet deal as I go straight to trade training which is nice...

The sweety pie up above I was talking about that I'm addicted too at first wasn't going to even come to my going away party! But she got over it and she's comming. Should be good times all round... I just wish I could bring her along in my kit!

PS> If anyone wants to show up, my going away party is March 24th from 7pm-??? at the Jr. Ranks Mess at the Lincoln and Welland Regiment in St. Catharines!

=)

Thanks again everyone, you helped more than you know!