What's the dumbest thing you heard said today?

[PMedMoe]

Man claims cow seduced him for sex

An 18-year-old Indonesian man says he was seduced by a cow, and that's why he was having sex with it.

A neighbour caught Gusti Ngurah Alit allegedly wooing the farm animal on Sunday, the village chief on the resort island of Bali said, the Times newspaper in Johannesburg, South Africa reported Friday.

"He was caught by one of the residents standing naked while holding the back of the cow," village chief Embang Ida Bagus Legawa said in the newspaper.

Alit said he didn't see an animal, he saw a beautiful young woman.

"She called my name and seduced me, so I had sex with her," the man told the newspaper.

Alit underwent a cleansing ritual. The village chief gave the owner of the cow the equivalent of $562.

The cow was reportedly drowned in the sea to rid the village of bad luck.



What?  The cow is assaulted and it gets put to death?  I would have drowned the guy instead to stop him from breeding.  :

 

[Old Sweat]

Speaking in a purely academic mode, I wonder how much it costs for a violated chicken? Anyone, TV?

 

[ModlrMike]

What?  The cow is assaulted and it gets put to death?  I would have drowned the guy instead to stop him from breeding.  :

I recon that reproduction is not an issue.

(double entendre intended)

 

[vonGarvin]

Man claims cow seduced him for sex
What?  The cow is assaulted and it gets put to death?  I would have drowned the guy instead to stop him from breeding.  :

OK, quick question: would YOU eat a steak from said cow?  Or even drink its milk?  I know I wouldn't!  [insert vomit icon here]
Also, given that lad's choice of sexual mates, I'm fairly certain he won't be breeding anytime soon!  >

Speaking in a purely academic mode, I wonder how much it costs for a violated chicken? Anyone, TV?

$54.95.  I only know this because it's in the Regimental Standing Orders  ;D


Oh, and then we have to go fess up to this guy:

 

[PMedMoe]

I recon that reproduction is not an issue.

(double entendre intended)

Also, given that lad's choice of sexual mates, I'm fairly certain he won't be breeding anytime soon!

Okay, okay, attempting to breed.  Maybe they should have tied him to the cow when they chucked her in the water.

 

[Cerulean_Sky]

OK, quick question: would YOU eat a steak from said cow?  Or even drink its milk?  I know I wouldn't!  [insert vomit icon here]

Sure I would! Steak's more tender after it's been properly pounded. Beats using a tenderizer, no?

 

[McD]

Sure I would! Steak's more tender after it's been properly pounded. Beats using a tenderizer, no?

^^^^ shuddder

 

[gunnars]

I'm going to refocus to the dumbest thing heard. This was a while back but it still kills me. A bartender refusing service to CF members because their military ID wasn't government issued ID like a drivers license. Took her a long time to understand that it was gov't issued. Even showed the liquor board issued book on what are acceptable IDs and it still took awhile.

 

[Luke O]

Sure I would! Steak's more tender after it's been properly pounded. Beats using a tenderizer, no?

Haha.  *Think ungross thoughts*

 

[danchapps]

I'm going to refocus to the dumbest thing heard. This was a while back but it still kills me. A bartender refusing service to CF members because their military ID wasn't government issued ID like a drivers license. Took her a long time to understand that it was gov't issued. Even showed the liquor board issued book on what are acceptable IDs and it still took awhile.

I almost had a kid fired for not accpeting it once. Didn't hurt that before I joined the CF I was a frequent guest to the establishment and the owner and manager were both friends of mine.

 

[Cerulean_Sky]

I almost had a kid fired for not accpeting it once.

Someone's serious about their alcohol.

Dumbest thing I heard today:

"Brits blame Obama as BP-linked pensions plummet

...“Obama’s boot on the throat of British pensioners” read the front-page headline in Thursday's Daily Telegraph, which added that the president's "attacks on BP were blamed for wiping billions off the company’s value."
'Aggressive rhetoric'
“U.K. alarm over attack on BP” was the Financial Times' take on the crisis, which it suggested could damage transatlantic relations. The newspaper accused President Barack Obama of employing "increasingly aggressive rhetoric" against BP."

more at link: http://worldblog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2010/06/10/4490597-brits-blame-obama-as-bp-linked-pensions-plummet

The British are now angry at America because the ecological destruction BP caused with the oil spill is decreasing BP's market value. Oh, the irony.

 

[McD]

WOW.

Because it wasn't BP who tapped a well a MILE underwater that bleed profusely for over 50 days. I knew Obama was trying to sink us.

 

[George Wallace]

This could fall under the Dumbest Criminals thread as well, but I think it qualifies here as well.  From a news article on Protestors at G8/G20 events, this phot of a masked protestor:



http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2010/06/04/f-g8-g20-protesters.html

You would wonder why one would mask their face, and then show off their distinctive tattoos.

 

[danchapps]

Someone's serious about their alcohol.

It's not that I was serious about getting my drink on. It was the fact that up until 3 months before I was at that establishment every other day
(it is a restaurant and bar) as they were my theatres financial sponsor. I almost had him fired because he wouldn't accept the fact that it is a Gov't issued ID and he refused to look in his little book. I had some good pull with the manager and owner considering me and my co-workers used to bring the acts over after a show. Nothing like showing up to a bar with Los Lobos for drinks. It kinda helps business when we do that

 

[spear]

Sorry this is not exactly happened today, but last weekend.

I rented a uhaul van last weekend at Route's Auto Sales along Rutherford/Orenda in Brampton. I booked a reservation last thursday through internet for a 9am saturday's pickup. Next day friday morning, this contact person named Sandhu/Sindhu or something like that (wearing eyeglass and has a mustache) called me and asked me to come later on saturday at 9:30am or so because he said the van (Cube-Van?) wouldn't be yet available at 9am. Well so i came picked it up around 9:50am.

When he was ready to give me the key after all the paper works, i verified with him the dropoff time of atleast 9:30am (24hr rent) the next day.  He said to me, "NO YOU HAV TO BRING IT BACK AT 9AM because that was your internet reservation!".  What an a-hole.

 

[Cat]

My boss calling 9er domestic to let him know he was stuck in a kitchen in an unknown unit on an unknown floor because he tried to move a fridge into a unit that it didn't fit through the kitchen door/opening...which we just happened to tell him that morning.....  *facepalm*

 

[Im Carl G carry me]

We're cleaning up from a barbecue across from our base HQ building - buddy points at a pile of ice cubes somebody dumped out onto the grass from a cooler?

"Sergeant, what do we do with those ice cubes over there?"

Sgt - "I don't know, private. Think if we just leave them there, nobody would notice?"

 

[Cerulean_Sky]

You should have told him off for littering. ;D

 

[kratz]

I watched the clip of BP chairman Carl-Henric Svanberg' comments to the media outside of the White House:

"BP cares about the small people."

He repeated that statement six times. Any other message was lost during that speech with the poor choice of those words.

 

[R. Jorgensen]

I dropped in on a High School career fair to give a hand.

There weren't just high school students though... they brought in Junior high/middle or whatever BC calls them (I was born and raised in Alberta) and just about EVERY 12-15 year old kid (judging by height, lack of facial hair... prepubescent voice  ;D) came over and asked one of the follow questions:

A) Have you ever killed anyone?
B) Do you play Call of Duty? (followed by "I bet you're really good" after ignoring the question)
C) When I join, can choose to use the <Insert weapon name here> instead of the M16 (that's when I shudder and begin my informative session on the C7 Canadian Forces standard issue modular assault rifle with the wonderful dummy I was provided with).

I guess I just have to remind myself that they are just kids, living in a media saturated-Americanized society so really... I should have expected it.

Although the one cool part about my day: The principal was a Strathcona!  ;D