Will Canada be invaded for its' water?

[Centurian1985]

My history teacher was telling us about this kind of thing a couple weeks ago, he was talking about US plans to dam off valley rivers at the border and flood entire valleys in Canada so that the US could have huge reserves.  I couldn't find any info on this, but ill post some more info and some links once i do.

Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba? 

 

[a_majoor]

Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba? 

I suspect the teacher was referring to the North American Water and Power Alliance scheme discussed a few posts earlier, although there have been numerous schemes floated (heh) since 1964 on greater or lesser scales, everything from damming James Bay to diverting the Arctic rivers to flow south, or sending water from Great Slave Lake to the Lake Superior watershed.

Since the Laws of Physics are rigorously enforced throughout the Universe, most of these schemes are totally impractical on any sort of financial or engineering standard of merit. Some of the ideas floated on this thread ( >) actually make more sense than spending $300 billion (1964) dollars and 40 years to fill a huge glacial valley between Alberta and BC with water and piping it south. If we want to see rational use of available water, then charge market prices for fresh water and see what happens in households, industry and agriculture.

Since the NAWPA scheme is so totally disconnected with the real world, I will give it an hounourary place on this thread.

 

[GAP]

There is a very simple answer to this problem, I'm supprised that no one has voiced it yet. OK here it is...no wait maybe it's better that you see for yourself!

Alright, first wrap your head in tinfoil (it helps to keep the voices out). Next stick your left foot in a bucket of warm (warm, not hot, not cold!) water. Finally stick a fork in the toaster.

In that one brief blinding flash of clarity it will all make sense. The answer will reveal itself to you.

Don't worry about the twitching...it goes away in a couple of days. On the other hand the incontinence lasts for awhile, but at least it's warm!

Thank god for Depends!!! The incontinence does not go away quickly....you lied!!!

As for the other parts of the solution....how the *ell do you think all these people got to this point?

 

[GAP]

Isnt this in reference to the Devils Lake dam project in North Dakota that was assessed as potentially causing flooding along the Assiniboine River in Manitoba? 

Shhhh.....I like the Montana/Alberta solution better....no mosquitoes!!!! ;D

 

[GAP]

Since the NAWPA scheme is so totally disconnected with the real world, I will give it an hounourary place on this thread.

I suspect that you are putting the kibosh on my plan....Not Realistic....why, I'll show you....I'll get an NDP government in, they all say they can change the world...this will be one way they can prove it.....oops...we have an NDP government in Manitoba....and they LOST out on the Garrison Diversion Plan....hmmm....back to voting conservative.

 

[GAP]

zipperhead_cop
Have solar ion sail ships to deploy the gravity funnels to their strategic locations around the sun for max effect.  You can crew them permanently at no cost with the newly rehabilitated water demon/sprite hybrids (called wet sprimon) who, as luck would have it, can weave carbon fibre thread out of anti-matter and cosmic energy. 
Hey, I'm all about the solutions.

Now there in a brief blinding flash of clarity it all made sense. The answer was revealed  to me. You’ve just solved the man/sprimon power problem. I thought I would have to import Mexicans, who by the way, cannot weave carbon fibre thread out of anti-matter and cosmic energy. Thank you.....Thank you!!! 

(note: sprimon does not come up on this spellchecker either....can it be added?)

 

[a_majoor]

I suspect that you are putting the kibosh on my plan....Not Realistic....why, I'll show you....I'll get an NDP government in, they all say they can change the world...this will be one way they can prove it.....oops...we have an NDP government in Manitoba....and they LOST out on the Garrison Diversion Plan....hmmm....back to voting conservative.

GAP, YOU have an honourary place on this thread as well!  ;D ;D ;D

 

[ExSarge]

Thank god for Depends!!! The incontinence does not go away quickly....you lied!!!

As for the other parts of the solution....how the *ell do you think all these people got to this point?

You mean they hear the voices too?
Oh, I didn't lie, I never said the incontinence goes away! Why would you want it to? It's warm!

 

[GAP]

Yewwww.....Thank god for wipes!!!  ;D

So many people here hear voices, you'd think we had our own angelic choir  :-X

 

[zipperhead_cop]

For me, it's like thirty DAT machines all playing at super-fast forward. 

 

[Haggis]

Now there in a brief blinding flash of clarity it all made sense.

I see that your "brief blinding flash of clarity" likely resulted from touching a light switch while standing in a puddle of melted space ice.  This caused you to overlook a critical factor:

The American economy has proven time and again that nothing happens without Mexicans.  Not even the space program.

 

[Old Sweat]

If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?

 

[ExSarge]

If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?

As long as they are not drinking the water it's OK! Wait, how do we know they are really Mexicans and not intergalactic space rangers bent on a Coups De Main? Got to what them space rangers...sneaky buggers that lot!

 

[GAP]

I see that your "brief blinding flash of clarity" likely resulted from touching a light switch while standing in a puddle of melted space ice.  This caused you to overlook a critical factor:
The American economy has proven time and again that nothing happens without Mexicans.  Not even the space program.

Actually it was "Alright, first wrap your head in tinfoil (it helps to keep the voices out). Next stick your left foot in a bucket of warm (warm, not hot, not cold!) water. Finally stick a fork in the toaster.
In that one brief blinding flash of clarity it will all make sense. The answer will reveal itself to you.
Don't worry about the twitching...it goes away in a couple of days."
The difficulty with your statement is that "Space Ice" requires tremendous BTU's to get to the "warm" state.
As for "If we see Mexicans with bales of empty sandbags gathering in the river vallies along the border in BC, is the jig up?"

No, we could not do without the termite quality of the Mexicans...who do you think was going to widen the Colorado River Basin, Install the footings for the Funnels, Build the Stilsuit Regeneration Factory, Construct the Heavy Water Pipeline to Washington State?? That is, right after they finish building my "Co Generation Cycle Generator", but that shouldn't be too long....we just hired a supervisor (picture below)

 

[ExSarge]

Hey, what the heck! I had that guy under contract! We were going on the road, him on percussions, me on air guitar and Gerry Garcia backing us up. Well that's once we dug up Gerry!  Now I have to go back to sitting in the dark chewing on lead based paint

 

[GAP]

Hey, what the heck! I had that guy under contract! We were going on the road, him on percussions, me on air guitar and Gerry Garcia backing us up. Well that's once we dug up Gerry!  Now I have to go back to sitting in the dark chewing on lead based paint

soo soorry.....hehe....we made him an offer he couldn't refuse. 5% share of revenues from the Stilsuit Regeneration Factory if the projects come in on time; failing that we remove his batteries!!!  >

 

[Centurian1985]

I suspect the teacher was referring to the North American Water and Power Alliance scheme discussed a few posts earlier, although there have been numerous schemes floated (heh) since 1964 on greater or lesser scales, everything from damming James Bay to diverting the Arctic rivers to flow south, or sending water from Great Slave Lake to the Lake Superior watershed.

Yes, missed the connection between the two posts.  All is clear as water now...

 

[ExSarge]

Fellows, this whole water thing has been a scam! I was beamed up to the mother ship last night and got the straight poop from the Big Head himself! Oh, by the way when you are beamed up, if he wants to "probe you" say no!

Anyway we have all been wrong it's not the water, it's MAPLE SYRUP! The whole water thing has been a clever deception plan uncovered by one of our operatives in the south, Pamala Anderson! I, at great personal risk, have volunteered to travel south to fully "debrief " her...quit shoving I called dibs first!

To continue, it's not the American's that are behind this. It's the Indians, no not those Indians you insensitive lout...they are First Nations people. 30 days sensitivity training, that man! No the other Indians, you know from the sub-continent. We should have known, they have been infiltrating us for years. Fitting in, paying taxes, contributing to the economic growth of the country. How bloody un-Canadian can you get? Why they are even more polite then we are! The plot is being master minded by the maharajah of Jam Jar. His goal, cornering the world maple syrup market!

There is of course only one way to foil this dastardly deed...that's right we have to out reproduce them! It's your patriotic duty to go forth and multiply at every opportunity, except if there is a hockey game on or a power tool sale at Canadian Tire! So, I want to see you put your backs into it! Buckle down and apply yourself! Put your shoulder to the...no that won't work. get your nose to the...nah, that's not working either. OK you know what I mean.

Ladies this isn't just for the guys, we expect you to give it your all! We are all in this together, shoulder to shoulder...well depending on flexability. Remember to stretch first!

My job of course will be to gather additional resources for the cause. To that end I will be accepting donations for travel expenses. I think we may need to bring in the Swedish bikini team as a back up. I again, at great personal risk have volunteered to escort them back. I know, a dirty job but someones got to do it! Besides I called dibs first!

 

[a_majoor]

Won't maple syrup gum up the ionic funnels? How will it flow from the Rocky Mountain Trench into the Colorado River basin? (will $300 billion dollars worth of maple syrup fill the Rocky Mountain Trench? Will anyone use the acronym for North American Maple Syrup and Power Alliance?) What role does the Space Patrol have in all this? Where is my aluminum foil anyway? 

 

[George Wallace]

We'll have to ensure that all the "Global Warming" conspiracy theorists are proven correct.  That way the Maple Syrup will flow more easily.  We don't want it to flow slower than molasses in February, would we?  We could also open up Tourist stands in the mountains were we can dip into the syrup and pour it out onto the Ice Fields and make "tasty treats" for them (at a price). 

Just imagine how kinky it could be to water ski in maple syrup.  Oh! Baby!