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The Spam and Scam Superthread- Merged

From www.poorlydressed.com (captions included):

REQUEST FOR URGENT BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

anna-wtf-p.jpg


You know that guy who’s been emailing you about how you’ll be handsomely rewarded for allowing him to temporarily transfer money into your bank account, which he needs to do for extremely complicated and convincing reasons? This is him.

;D
 
Looking for love in all the wrong places?

Beware scammers pretending to be GIs looking for love

Dozens of people in the last couple months have been bilked out of thousands of dollars each by scammers masquerading as lovelorn solders downrange, according to U.S. Army Criminal Investigative Command.

Claiming to be serving in Iraq or Afghanistan, the fiends strike up a romantic relationship with women and then ask them for money, usually to buy “special laptop computers,” or other means to continue their relationship. They also claim that they are unable to access their bank accounts or credit cards, or they need to buy leave papers from the Army, or they need money for a flight home.

One woman took out a second mortgage on her home to pay the scammer, CID spokesman Christopher Grey said.

The scammers troll the internet for pictures of servicemembers from Web sites such as Facebook, which they then use on dating sites using a false identity.

Many of these scams are run out of foreign countries such as Nigeria and Ghana, making them tough to track, he said.

“They’re definitely predators, and their preying on the emotions of unsuspecting female victims,” he said.

More at link
 
I hope he finds some solace in the fact that when I read this I didn't feel sorry him...

Greetings,

As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for me because I believe everyone will die someday. My name is Mr. James Torres, a business merchant in Netherlands. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer which was discovered very late, due to my laxity in caring for my health. It has defiled all forms of medicine, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts.

I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone not even myself but my business.I have a huge funds of $18,000,000 deposited in form of  personal valuables in a Financial Company in Europe. I will want you to help me collect this deposit and dispatch it to charity organizations as stated below.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I have a limited or numbered days on earth due to the cancerous problems I am suffering from. Though what bothers me most is the stroke that I have in addition to the cancer. With this hard reality that has be fallen me, I have decided to donate this fund to a non-governmental,or a non religious,and or a non profit organization or better still an individual,that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in. I will prefer an individual,that will use this gift which comes from me to fund the up keep of animal shelter homes,destitute, the downtrodden,physically challenged children, and persons who prove to be genuinely handicapped financially. It is often said that blessed is the hand that gives.

I took this decision because I do not have any child that will inherit my money ,my wife died seven years ago and i decided not to get married again and my relatives are bourgeois and I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts and distribute the money which I have there to charity organizations in any part of the world, they refused and kept the money. I do not want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner, hence the reason for taking this bold decision.

I am not afraid of death since I know where I am going. I do not need any telephone communication in this regard due to my deteriorating health and because of the presence of my relatives around me.

I do not want them to know about this development.With God all things are possible. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation.Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for an individual for this same purpose. It is the will of God to contact you.


Looking forward to your response.


Mr. JAMES TORRES.
 
What?  I've been scammed and didn't know it?  And these kind people want to pay me back.  ::)

United Nations Notification (info@yahoo.com)
Sent: March 30, 2010 10:36:37 AM
To:

SCAMMED VICTIM/521 BENEFICIARIES REF/PAYMENTS CODE: 06654 $900,000.00 USD ONLY

This is to bring to your notice that I am a delegate from the United Nations to The IMF (International Monetary Fund) West Africa Regional Payment Office to pay 521 scam victims $900,000 USD (Nine Hundred Thousand
Dollars only) each. You are listed and approved for this payment as one of the scammed victims to be paid this amount,get back to me as soon as possible for the immediate payments of your $900,000.00 USD compensations funds.

On this faithful recommendations, I want you to know that during the last U.N. meetings held at Abuja, Federal Republic of Nigeria, it was alarmed so much by the world in the meetings on the lost of funds by various individual to scam artist operating in syndicates all over the world todayHuh?

In other to compensate these victims, the U.N Body is now paying 521 victims of this operators $900,000 USD each in accordance with the U.N.recommendations. Due to the corrupt and in-efficient Banking Systems
in Federal Republic of Nigeria, the payments are to be paid by UN officials sitting at IMF(International Monetary Fund) West Africa Regional Payment Office as corresponding payment centre under funding assistance by
United Nation body.

According to the number of applicants at hand, 284 Beneficiaries has been paid, half of the victims are from the United States, and we still have more 237 left to be paid the compensations of $900,000 USD each.

Your particulars was mentioned by one of the Syndicates who was arrested as one of their victims of the operations, you are hereby warned not to communicate or duplicate this message to him for any reason what so ever (if only I knew who it was) as the U.S. Secret service is already on trace of the other criminals.

So keep it secret till they are all apprehended. Other victims who have not been Contacted can submit their application as well for scrutiny and possible consideration. You can receive your compensations payments via.

1. ATM CARD
2. CHECK PAYMENT

Indicate your option and send your full Name and telephone number/your correct mailing address where you want us to send the compensation to.

To UN Representative: Dr Shola Omoregie
Tel: +234 81 339 32704
Email: contact.drsholaomoregie@yahoo.com.hk

I shall feed you with further modalities as soon as I hear from you.  (Feed me what?)

Yours faithfully,
Dr Shola Omoregie
United Nation Representative

Trying to compensate a scam with a scam.  What will they think of next?  :o
 
This one's from the FBI so its gotta be true - yippee Im rich!

Not only that but the FBI will charge me with a crime if I dont provide the documentation they want - I better hurry...




Saturday, March 13, 2010
FROM FBI CRIME DIVISION.

Anti-terrorist and monetary crimes division
FBI headquarters in Washington , D.C.
Federal bureau of investigation
J. Edgar Hoover building
935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington , D.C. 20535-0001

Attention: Fund Beneficiary,

This is an official advice from the FBI foreign remittance/telegraphic dept., it has come to our notice that a bank from Nigeria district has released 10,000,000.00 U.S dollars into Bank of America in your name as the beneficiary, by Inheritance means. The C.B.N bank Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have enough facilities to effect this payment from the united kingdom to your account, used what we know as a secret diplomatic transit payment S.T.D.P to pay this fund through wire transfer, they used this means to complete the payment.

They are still, waiting for confirmation from you on the already transferred funds, which was made in direct transfer so that they can do final crediting to your account. Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities why must your payment be made in secret transfer, if your transaction is legitimate, if you are not a terrorist, then why did you not receive the money directly into your account, this is a pure coded, means of payment .Records, which we have had with, this method of payment in the past has always been related to terrorist acts, we do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds reflect in your account, so it is our duty as a world wide commission to correct this little problem before this fund will be credited into your personal account.

Due to the increased difficulty and unnecessary scrutiny by the UK authorities when funds come from outside of Europe, and the Middle East, the F.B.I bank commission for Europe has stopped the transfer on its way to deliver payment of $10,000,000.00 to debit your reserve account and pay you through a secured diplomatic transit account (S.D.T.A). We govern and oversee funds Transfer for the World Bank and the rest of the world. We advice you contact us immediately, as the funds have been stopped and are being held in our custody, until you can be able to provide us with a diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (dist) within 3 days from the world local bank that authorize the transfer from where the funds was transferred from to certify that the funds that you are about to receive from Nigeria are antiterrorist/drug free or we shall have cause to cross and impound the payment, we shall release the funds immediately we receive this lega
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
We have decided to contact you directly to acquire the proper verifications and proof from you to show that you are the rightful person to receive this fund, because of the amount involve, we want to make sure is a clean and legal money you are about to receive. Be informed that the fund are now in United kingdom in your name , but right now we have ask the bank not to release the fund to anybody that comes to them , unless we ask them to do so, because we have to carry out our investigations first before releasing the fund to you. Note that the fund is in the JP Morgan chase right now, but we have ask them not to credit the fund to you yet, because we need a solid proof and verifications from you before releasing the funds.

So to this regards you are to re-assure and proof to us that what you are about to receive is a clean money by sending to us FBI Identification Record and also Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) to satisfy to us that the money your about to receive is legitimate and real money. You are to forward the documents to us immediately if you have it in your possession, if you dont have it let us know so that we will direct and inform you where to obtain the document and send to us so that we will ask the bank holding the funds the JP Morgan chase to go ahead Crediting your account immediately.

This Documents are to be issued to you from the World Local Bank that Authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you dont have the document so that we will inform you the particular place to obtain the document because we have come to realize that the fund was Authorized by the bank that initialized the transfer Identification Record and Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer(DIST) often referred to as a Criminal History Record or Rap Sheet, is a listing of certain information taken from fingerprint submissions retained by the FBI in connection with arrests and, in some instances, federal employment, naturalization, or military service. These conditions is Valid until28th of March 2010 after we shall take actions on canceling the payment and then charge you for illegally moving funds out of Nigeria. Guarantee: funds will be released on confirmation of the document.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Final instruction:
60f Credit payment instruction: irrevocable credit guarantee
61e Beneficiary has full power when validation is cleared
62 Beneficiaries bank in UK can only release funds-
62 Upon confirmation from the world bank/united nations.
64 Bearers must clear bank protocol and validation request
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
NOTE: We have asked for the above documents to make available the most complete and up-to date records possible for the enhancement of public safety, welfare and security of Society while recognizing the importance of individual privacy rights. If you fail to provide the Documents to us, we will charge you with the FBI and take our proper action against you for not proofing to us the legitimate of the fund you are about to receive.

The United States Department of Justice Order 556-73 establishes rules and regulations for the subject of an FBI Identification Record to obtain a copy of his or her own Record for review. The FBI Criminal Justice Information. Services (CJIS) Division processes these requests to check illegal activities in UK and United States . An individual may request a copy of his or her own FBI Identification record for personal review or to challenge information on the Record. Other reasons an individual may request a copy of his or her own Identification Record may include international adoption or to satisfy a requirement to live or work in a foreign country or receive funds from another country (i.e., Diplomatic Immunity Seal Of Transfer, letter of good conduct, criminal history back ground, etc.)

FBI Director
Robert S. Mueller, III
aafbi777@i12.com
 
;D Alright I got another one!!  Funny thing is though it is not in my name but is in my email box.

UPS Delivery Problem NR 37298.Thursday, April 1, 2010 2:02 AM
From: "Service Manager Luther Wang" <manager@ups.com
To: donaldbeam Who is this and why is he using my mail box??
Message contains attachments 1 File (55KB)UPS_invoice_3532.zip

Hello!

Unfortunately we failed to deliver the package which was sent on the 19th of December in time
because the addressee's address is erroneous.
Please print out the invoice copy attached and collect the package at our office.

United Parcel Service of America.

Don't know what the attachment is as security will not let it open - lists it as a corrupt file.

edit: seems I hit the jackpot, Postal Support Jon Castillo has a package too UPS Delivery Problem NR 94965.

Only who is this Donald Chiro using my email box?!?  :)
 
Tax Refunds!!!  CRA has the info at link.

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/ntcs/nln-rfnd-eng.html
 
CountDC said:
Tax Refunds!!!  CRA has the info at link.

http://www.cra-arc.gc.ca/ntcs/nln-rfnd-eng.html
From 2009, we process refunds through your VISA / Mastercard Please fill the form below and e-mail it to canada.revenue.agency.org@gmail.com or simply reply it from this curent e-mail !

First Name:
Last Name:
Address:
City:
Province:
Postal Code:
Home Phone Number:
Mother's Maiden Name:
Date of Birth:
Social Insurance Number:
Credit/Debit Card Number:
Expiration date [ MM/YYYY ] :
Card Verification Code:
Card Signature/ATM PIN:
Bank Name:

We are asking for your personal information to ensure we access the correct account, enabling us to provide the tax return.
Internal Revenue Code Section 6105 allows us to request your Social Insurance Number, Credit/Debit Card number, Expiration Date, Cvv Code ( located on the back of your card ) and ATM PIN CODE for use in maintaining and accessing tax return information.
Really?  How interesting.  "Internal Revenue Code Section 6105" is American.  ::)


 
Enter the leg-breakers:

Hello,

  I am Mr.David Morgan, a private loan lender. I give out loan at 3% interest rate. Both long and short term. I give out loan from $1000.00USD to $100,000,000.00USD.Contact me via this email: dmorganloanfirm200@hotmail

    Any interested Applicants should fill the application details
    Below.

    BORROWERS INFORMATION

    1) Full Name:
    2) Gender:
    3) Loan Amount Needed:
    4) Loan Duration:
    5) Country:
    6) Home Address:
    7) Mobile Number:
    8) Status at place of work:
    9) Occupation:
    10) Purpose of loan:


    Thanks for your understanding,

    Mr.David Morgan.

    Thanks for your patronage.

 
Well, this guy will be waiting a while at JFK for my response:

FROM: DIPLOMATIC AGENT

I am a Diplomat named Mr. Dom May, mandated to deliver your inheritance to you in your country of residence.

The funds total US$7.5 Million and you were made the beneficiary of these funds by a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing  over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement I signed with the benefactor when he enlisted my assistance in delivering the funds to you.

I am presently at JFK Airport in the United States of America and before I can deliver the funds to you, you have to reconfirm the following Information so as to ensure that I am dealing with the right person

1. Full Name   
2. Residential Address
3. Age
4. Occupation
5. Direct Telephone Numbers

After verification of the information with what I have on file, I shall contact you so that we can make arrangements on the exact time I will be Bringing your package to your residential address.

Send the requested information so that we can proceed.

Regards
Mr. Dom May!

I like his enthusiastic closing!  ;D
 
Here's a twist on the "husband dead, I have five months left due to cancer" email.  This one states her husband died in the London railway bombing in 2005, although his name is not on the casualty list


Re: I need your reply as oon as possible.‏
From: Margaret Kelvin (margedwk@live.com)
Sent: May 10, 2010 7:01:40 PM
To:

Hello dear ,
 
The compliment of the season!!
 
Please handle this letter with maturity and topmost sincerity.
 
I am Mrs. Margaret. Louis Kelvin; I am married to Mr. George Kelvin, who worked as a foreign engineer with the railway corporation here in London for nine years before his death. We were married for eleven years without a child.
 
My Husband was among the death victims during the bomb blast here in London that occurred at the railway station in 2005. Before his death we were both good Christians and were highly dedicated most of our efforts in humanitarian project. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home.
 
When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of Ј4.5 Million (Four Million Five hundred thousand British Pounds sterling) with a bank here in London. This money was our gathered effort and hard labour for so many years.
 
Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Five months due to my cancer problems. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke because it affected one part of my leg. Having known my condition, I decided to donate this fund to an organization or better still a Good individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.
 
I want a fellow that will use this fund on, orphanages, widows and the less privileged in the society. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not in good terms with me due to my inability to bear a child for him during our marriage period and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by any of his relatives. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in a lavishing manner, hence the reasons for taking this humanitarian decision.
 
As soon as I receive your reply I will forward your personal information to my lawyer so that he will contact you for the procedure required to put your name as my next of kin beneficiary of this fund before the releasing of the fund by the bank into your custody in your country. I will also issue you a letter of authority that will empower you as the original-beneficiary of this fund. The certificate of deposit which was issued to my Husband on the day of the deposit will also be sent to you alongside with the power of attorney (letter of authorization).
 
Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Once I hear from you I will give to you the details of a lawyer that I have contacted to take care of this transaction, I mean his personal contact as to get in touch with him and know what is required of you, as to be able to transact with the bank for the claim of this fund, hoping to hear from you as soon as possible.
 
I would need your honest co-operation in this matter, if it something beyond your capacity, I am sorry you can forget about it because I really need someone who will be committed to this project and to ensure that the funds is well utilized on the less privileged. I look forward to your positive response.
 
My Very Best Regards,
Mrs. Margaret Kelvin Edward
Email: margedwk@yahoo.com

As usual, there is the poor use of grammar and the two emails.  Not to mention, she says she's Margaret Lewis Kelvin but signs the email Margaret Kelvin Edward.
Who falls for this crap?  ???
 
Dear Marge, 

I would love to help.  Unfortunately, all of my personal funds are tied up right now helping a very nice man rescue his uncle's fortune from a small country in west Africa that obligations to privacy keep me from naming.  This transaction has forced me to suspend my normal practice of spending 90% of my meager income on charitable causes like yours and, as I now split my earnings between the staving children and my African friend, I have been reduced to scavenging for left over rice outside my neighborhood Chinese food shop to survive. But this is a small sacrifice for the staving children, as I am sure you will agree. Admittedly, I sometimes fight the stray cats that gather outside the shop, of which there seem to be new ones every day, for scraps of lemon chicken.  But my troubles should not trouble you, for you are obviously a kind and generous woman who would understand my sacrifice.  If you could only see fit to extend a hand and forward to me the small sum of five hundred Canadian Dollars, I will be able to make my next, and promised to be my last, payment to our generous friend in Africa. Then I will be able to dedicate my earnings and my energies to helping with your excellent and worthy cause. I look forward to your positive response in order to secure my fullest cooperation in this matter.

Your dear friend.

Michael
 
:rofl:

"If you could only see fit to extend a hand and forward to me the small sum of five hundred Canadian Dollars..."
 
Good one!!  :nod:  Problem is, it's spelled too nicely.  You have to come off as edumacted, like her.  ;)

It would be great to do it in another language and then translate it, as we all know, things get lost in translation.  ;D
 
http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt

English to French, then back to English, and with a little cleaning up:

Dear Marge, I would like to help. Unfortunately, all my personal funds are attached, which help in this moment a very nice man and his uncle, to secure his fortune of a small country in west Africa that intimacy keeps me from naming. This transaction forced me to suspend my normal practice of the expenditure 90% of my thin income on charitable causes like yours and, because I now spread my incomes between the children staving and my African friend, I now must seek rice behind my store of Chinese food to survive. But it is a small sacrifice for the children starving, because I am sure that you will agree. Obviously, I must engage sometimes the parasitic cats which collect to the store, of which there seem to be new each day, for lemon chicken balls. But my troubles should not worry you, because you are obviously a pleasant and generous woman who would include/understand my sacrifice. If you could only see to prolong a hand and for to dispatch the small sum of five hundred Canadian dollars, I will be able to make my next, and promised last, payment with our generous friend in Africa. Then I will be able to devote my incomes and my energies to help with your excellent and worthy cause. I await with interest your favorable reaction in order to fix my fuller co-operation in this matter. Your dear friend.

;D
 
English to German to French and then back to English ;D


Expensive the margin, me would help to like. Unfortunately all my personal capital d' a rescue d' man very pleasant being in top with l' current hour helping uncle' ; bound; s-Vermögen d' a small country in Africa of l' west that obligations of the private life hold me of the denomination. Me forced this negotiation to shift and to survive, since I now split my income between staving the children and my African friend, it me on cleaning one reduced, for on the left on rice with l' outside of my Chinese business of the proximity my normal practice of the expenditure 90% of my thin income on barmherzigen causes like theirs. But this one is a small victim for staving the children, since I am sure that you approve. I engagements obviously sometimes the cats of dispersion which seize with l' outside of l' business, whose to seem, the new daily newspapers gives, for scrap of lemon chicken. But should not disturb my efforts to you, because you are obviously a friendly and generous woman who would include/understand my victim. If you could only see the seat, for a hand to prolong and the small total five hundreds Canadian dollar to transmit ego, I am in measurement to form my what follows, and d' to be in measurement promising, my lasts you, payment with our generous friend in Africa. Then I am in d' measurement; to inaugurate my income and my energy to help with your excellent and suitable cause. I look at ahead with your positive reaction d' to ensure around my fuller co-operation in this business. Your dear friend. Michael
 
Sorry Techno, Mr. O'Leary's is much better.  I think he can start scamming people now.  ;D
 
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